dasunrisin

Stir Fried Chicken with Almonds

2012-01-02T16:20:00.000-08:00

It has been a pretty busy holiday season, and so in some ways I'm relieved that it is over.

That's why I made this simple dish. I actually found the recipe off the back of my Hollywood peanut oil bottle. I only altered it slightly given what I had on hand.

Recipe
2 chicken breasts, cubed
1/3 c chicken broth
2 tbsp soy sauce
1 tbsp corn starch
1/4 cup sliced almonds
6 green onions, sliced
5 carrots, sliced
1 package mushrooms
splash or two of peanut oil

1. Stir fry chicken in peanut oil until done. Follow by throwing in almonds until they are slightly brown.
2. Throw in veggies and stir fry until carrots are done.
3. Stir in soy sauce, chicken broth, and corn starch until corn starch is dissolved.
4. Add corn starch mixture to pan and stir until hot and thick.
5. Serve over rice, if you are so inclined.

2011 Book List

2011-12-30T18:09:00.000-08:00

1. Driven to Distraction- Drs. Hallowell and Ratey
2.. The Last Time I Wore a Dress- by Daphine Scholinski with Jane Meredith Adams
3. Yes Means Yes! Visions of Female Sexual Power & a World Without Rape by Jaclyn Friedman & Jessica Valenti
4. Red Planet- Robert Heinlein
5. American Gods Neil Gaiman
6. Temple of Gold- William Goldman
7. Dogs of March- Ernest Hebert
8. Afternoon Men- Anthony Powell
9. Lucky Jim- Kingsley Amis
10. The Pleasure of My Company- Steve Martin
11. The Yiddish Policemen's Union- Michael Chabon
12. A Walk in the Woods - Bill Bryson
13. The Transsexual Empire- Janice Raymond
14. Whipping Girl- Julia Serano
15. Bowling Alone- Robert D. Putnam
16. Never Let Me Go- Kazuo Ishiguro
17. Good Omens- Neil Gaiman.Terry Pratchett
18. Feminism is for Everybody- bell hooks
19. The Structure of Scientific Revolution- Thomas Kuhn
20. Firestarter- Steven King
21. The Female Man- Joanna Russ
22. Gyn/Ecology- Mary Daly
23. The Edible Woman- Margaret Atwood
24. Freedom- Jonathan Franzen
25. The Body Project- Joan Jacobs Brumberg
26. Pornland- Gail Dines
27. Delusions of Gender- Cordelia Fine
28. Fat Shame- Amy Farrell
29. Propaganda- Edward Bernays
30 Intercourse- Andrea Dworkin
31. Beyond Power- Marilyn French
32. No Logo- Naomi Klein
33. Of Woman Born- Adrienne Rich
34. The Female Eunuch- Germaine Greer
35. Backlash- Susan Faludi
36. The Whole Woman- Germaine Greer
37. The Industrial Vagina- Shelia Jeffreys
38. Half the Sky- Nicholas Kristof and Sheryl Wudunn
39. Fasting Girls- Joan Jacobs Brumberg
40. Loving to Survive- Dee Graham
41. Right Wing Women- Andrea Dworkin
42. Homophobia: A Weapon of Sexism- Suzanne Pharr
43. Unpacking Queer Politics- Sheila Jeffreys
44. Getting Off- Pornography and the End of Masculinity- Robert Jensen
45. On Strike Against God- Joanna Russ
46. Deep Green Resistance- Lierre Keith et al
47. Woman on the Edge of Time- Marge Piercy
48. Herland- Charlotte Perkins Gilman
49. Up The Walls of The World- "James Tiptree"
50. Woman at Point Zero- Nawal El Saadawi
51. Daughters of a Coral Dawn -Katherine V Forrest
52. Walk to the End of the World-Suzy McKee Charnas
53. Motherlines Suzy McKee Charnas
54. The Furies- Suzy McKee Charnas
55. The Conqueror's Child- Suzy McKee Charnas

Stuffed Mushrooms

2011-12-12T13:52:00.000-08:00

It was certainly a busy weekend, because I also went to a holiday pot luck/stocking decorating/white elephant gift party at a friend's house. I met a lot of cool, interesting people. It was great fun!

I brought these stuffed mushrooms, and they were a hit.

I doubled this recipe:

* 12 whole fresh mushrooms
* 1 tablespoon vegetable oil
* 1 tablespoon minced garlic
* 1 (8 ounce) package cream cheese, softened
* 1/4 cup grated Parmesan cheese
* 1/4 teaspoon ground black pepper
* 1/4 teaspoon onion powder
* 1/4 teaspoon ground cayenne pepper

Directions

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C). Spray a baking sheet with cooking spray. Clean mushrooms with a damp paper towel. Carefully break off stems. Chop stems extremely fine, discarding tough end of stems.
2. Heat oil in a large skillet over medium heat. Add garlic and chopped mushroom stems to the skillet. Fry until any moisture has disappeared, taking care not to burn garlic. Set aside to cool.
3. When garlic and mushroom mixture is no longer hot, stir in cream cheese, Parmesan cheese, black pepper, onion powder and cayenne pepper. Mixture should be very thick. Using a little spoon, fill each mushroom cap with a generous amount of stuffing. Arrange the mushroom caps on prepared cookie sheet.
4. Bake for 20 minutes in the preheated oven, or until the mushrooms are piping hot and liquid starts to form under caps.

I know I'll be making these frequently for parties.

Cream Cheese Brownies

2011-12-12T13:35:00.000-08:00

Over the weekend my grandma had a treats exchange party. We all brought cookies and other yummy foods and then we all got to pick up a little bit of what everyone else brought. It was so nice to get together with the women in my family for a holiday celebration.

I got the recipe for these decadent beauties here.

Here it is (with no changes)

Cream Cheese Brownies

(adapted from Betty Crocker Cookbook)

2 cups sugar

2 teaspoons vanilla

4 large eggs

1.5 cups all-purpose flour

1/2 teaspoon salt

Cream Cheese Filling

2 packaged (8 ounces each) cream cheese, softened

1/2 cup sugar

2 teaspoons vanilla

1 large egg

Heat oven to 350 degrees. Grease bottom and sides of 13 by 9 pan with shortening.

Melt butter and chocolate in a saucepan over low heat, stirring frequently. Remove from heat and let cool for 5 minutes.

Make cream cheese filling.

Beat chocolate mixture, sugar, vanilla and eggs in a large bowl with electric mixer on medium speed for 1 minute. Beat in flour and salt on low speed for 30 seconds, then on medium for 1 minute.

Spread half of the brownie mixture in pan. Spread cream cheese filling over the batter, then spread the rest of the brownie mix on top. Make sure that all the cream cheese is covered.

Bake 45-50 minutes, cool, cut, eat.

Luckily there were leftovers, and so I got to keep some of these for our household. Mmm.

Cheesy Chicken Enchiladas

2011-12-04T15:30:00.000-08:00

I have already made these twice- they are that good. I got the recipe from this cookbook, with minor modifications.

Recipe
1/2 stick butter
1 onion
8 cloves garlic, minced
1/4 cup flour
1 c chicken broth
4 oz cream cheese, softened
2 cups shredded cheddar cheese
1 package chicken thighs or breasts, cooked and shredded
3 chipotle peppers in adobo sauce
6 flour tortillas
1/4 c fresh cilantro

Directions
1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.
2. Melt butter in medium saucepaon over medium heat. Add onon and garlic, cook and stir until onion is tender. Add flour; cook and stir 1 min. Gradually whisk in chicken broth; cook and stir 2 to 3 minutes or until slightly thickened. Add cream cheese; stir until melted. Stir in 1/2 cup shredded cheese, chicken, and chopped chipolte peppers.
3. Spoon about 1/3 cup mixture onto each tortilla. Roll up and place seam side down into baking dish. Pour remaining mixture over enchiladas; sprinkle with remaining 1 1/2 cups shredded cheese
4. Bake 20 mins or until bubbly and lightly browned. Sprinkle with cilantro.

It has been such a snowy weekend,

and I've been staying inside reading. I've read 50 books this year so far!

This is not a healthy meal, but it is incredibly delicious. Your family will love it; mine does!

Grandpa K's Chili

2011-12-04T10:34:00.001-08:00

My Grandpa K died when I was very young, but I do remember certain things about him. We used to browse the catalogs before Christmas together. He took me to the playground, and we got baklava afterwards. I loved him very much.

This is his chilli recipe, with a few of my own changes. It is very simple, and exceptionally delicious on a snowy evening.

Recipe

1 package hot Italian sausage (I use Boulder Sausage to avoid nitrites and nitrates)
1 can Chili beans in sauce
1 can organic tomato sauce
1 can organic peeled and cut tomatoes
1 green pepper, sliced
3 garlic cloves, sliced
2 tsp chili powder
1 tsp onion powder
2 tsp cumin
2 tsp thyme (all spices can be added to your taste)
1/2 cap full oil

Directions
1. Place oil in pan and fry up garlic and green pepper until soft
2. Add sausage and cook until done
3. Pour in beans and tomatoes and cook 5-7 minutes
4. Ladle chili into a bowl, add a dollup of sour cream

zuppa toscana

2011-11-14T15:35:00.000-08:00

We're playing a game at my place called, "One Grocery Store Trip Per Week". Hopefully, we'll save money by not going to the store so often. It's working pretty well so far. The only way it works is if I plan meals in advance. Truthfully, it's actually pretty fun.

I got this recipe from The Pastry Affair, and made a few minor changes. One of them was subbing milk for cream, because we forgot cream at the store and had to tetris our way through the cooking project (make things fit the best way possible given what you're working with).

Recipe
1 lb ground Italian sausage (I used Boulder sausage)
1 teaspoon paprika
1 diced yellow onion
6 cloves garlic, pureed
7 cups chicken broth (I used water and Better than Bouillon)
1 pound Russet potatoes, sliced into disks
2 cups milk
1/4 of a bunch (about 3-4 cups) kale, torn into bite sized pieces
Salt and pepper, to taste

In a large soup pot, sauté together the ground sausage and paprika until the meat is browned. Drain off the excess fat and move to a different bowl. Set aside.
In the same pot, sauté the onions, garlic, and potatoes until softened, about 10 to 15 minutes. Add the chicken broth and heat until boiling. Let the potatoes finish cooking for about 15 mins. Add the cream, kale, and sausage and cook until heated thoroughly.
Serve hot!

Unfortunately, this was the only photo I got before the camera died, and it's a bit fuzzy. But it tasted great!

Jalapeño Pepper Chicken Casserole

2011-11-10T07:50:00.000-08:00

Photos taken indoors aren't as striking as they are in the summer, but that can't be helped in these fall days. The air is cold, the leaf blanket covers the back yard, and the parking lot is dark and moon-lit as I leave work.

One way to counter act these dreary days is in the kitchen. Last night I made this delicious meal. Everyone loved it! From Kayotic Kitchen.

Jalapeño Pepper Chicken Casserole Recipe, with my alterations

Ingredients:
4 chicken breasts
1 red bell pepper
1 yellow bell pepper
3 jalapeños
1 onion
4 garlic cloves
2 cups grated cheese,divided
2 tbsp oil
2 oz butter
3 tbsp flour
1 1/2 cup milk
1/2 tsp mustard powder
nutmeg
pepper
salt

Directions:
Preheat your oven to 350F (175C).
Slice chicken breasts and put them in the oven for 20-30 mins with a pinch of salt & pepper.
Slice the veggies and garlic.
Heat the oil and lightly sauté the vegetables on the range.
Grate the cheddar.
Mix the flour and mustard powder.
Heat the butter, slowly add the flour mixture. Be careful to stir out lumps.
Keep stirring the roux while you cook it for 2 minutes.
Pour in the milk and stir, then add 1 cup cheese.
Season the sauce with 1/2 a tsp salt (you can add more later) and a good pinch of pepper.
Throw in a dash of nutmeg.
After the chicken is done, drain the juice. Add veggies over the chicken, and pour sauce over all. Throw the rest of the grated cheese over the whole thing.
Pop the chicken back into the oven for another ~20 minutes until the cheese has melted and the casserole is bubbling.

In other news,

My feminist book club has been going really well. We read _Pornland_ by Gail Dines, and everyone agreed that pornography has hijacked our sexuality as a culture, and that we should take it back. The misogynistic scenes in the book spoke for themselves. I have become more vocal in my anti-pornography stance, and I'm learning a lot about what it has done to our young people. I highly recommend this book, as long as you're aware of the graphic descriptions it contains. For some other anti pornography resources, check out AntiPornography.org and StopPornCulture.org. Also, as Dines says, being anti-pornography is not equivalent to being anti-sex, just as being anti-McDonald's is not equivalent to being anti-food (page x of the book).

We found out that our landlords are going to sell the house in April, so we'll need to find another place to live. This is a real bummer, since we've been having so much fun in this house.

Money is a little tight, so we're staying in a lot. I'm reading like mad- I hope to make it to 50 books this year!

I've also been thinking a lot about body acceptance. If you're interested, follow the subreddit Body Acceptance. Also, I've been practicing intuitive eating (aka the non-diet). There are so few people in the world who have heard of the Health At Every Size principles, and I wish more folks would resist the dominant cultural narrative that says that thin= healthy.

Anyway, thanks for stopping by. Have a great fall!

Curried Squash and Mushroom Soup

2011-10-04T13:26:00.000-07:00

Fall is here. I hate the end of summer, because it means that winter is on the way. But, there are positive aspects to this time of year.

One good thing about fall is the incredible vegetables that A. gets from the farm. We have mountains of tomatoes and squash. Over the weekend I peeled and chopped five or six pounds of carrots to be blanched and frozen for the year. The top shelf on the freezer is now bright orange with deliciousness. Harvest is good.

This recipe is from the Moosewood Cookbook. The only change I made was to sub out a pint of half and half for the yogurt.

Recipe

2 medium-sized acorn or butternut squash (about 4 pounds)
A little oil for the baking tray.
3 1/2 cups orange juice
1 pint half and half
2 tablespoons butter or oil
1 cup minced onion
2 tablespoons minced fresh ginger
1 1/2 teaspoons salt
2 teaspoon ground cumin
1/2 teaspoon ground coriander
1/2 teaspoon cinnamon
2 teaspoons dry mustard
1 tablespoons minced garlic
1/2 pound mushrooms, sliced
Cayenne to taste
Fresh lemon juice to taste

1. Preheat oven to 375°F. Split the squash in half lengthwise, remove the seeds, and place face-down on a lightly oiled baking tray. Bake until very soft (30 to 40 minutes). Cool, then scoop out the insides. Measure out 3 cups of squash, place it in a food processor or blender with 1 1/2 cups of the orange juice, and purée until smooth. (You may need to do this in batches.) Transfer to a soup pot, and stir in the remaining orange juice.
2. Melt the butter or heat the oil in a skillet, and add the onion, ginger, salt, and spices. Sauté over medium heat until the onion is very soft (about 8 minutes). Add a few tablespoons of water, if necessary to prevent the spices from sticking.
3. Add the garlic and mushrooms, cover, and cook about 10 minutes over medium heat, stirring occasionally.
4. Add the sauté to the squash mixture, scraping the skillet well to salvage all the little tidbits of flavor. Add cayenne and lemon juice to taste.
5. Stir in the half and half until warm. Serve with croutons or bread.

the return of the zuccanoes

2011-07-23T13:53:00.000-07:00

I make these fairly regularly (especially when zucchinis are in season) but every time I end up with something different. A brought these home from the farm where he's been working. The rest of the ingredients I had at home. You can find the last time I made zuccanoes here.

These were nice and just a tad spicy. Enjoy!

Ingredients
4 large zucchinis
8 oz mushrooms
1 jalape4 large zucchinis
8 oz mushrooms
1 jalapeño
1 red pepper
1/2 onion
2 chipolte peppers in adobo sauce
1/4 of a cilantro bunch
salt to taste
oil for sauteing
1 package cream cheese

1. Slice everything up but the zucchinis. Slice them in half.
2. With a melon baller, remove the zucchini innards. (you can use a spoon, but it isn't as neat). Slice the removed balls.
3. Saute all vegetables in a pan
4. When veggies are done, use burr mixer to puree them. (A blender would also work. Truly, it might be fun to try these without the puree step.)
5. Mix in cream cheese to the pureed mixture.
6. Return mixture to zucchini boats.
7. Bake at 350 degrees for 30-45 mins.

Zucchini, Sausage, and Feta Casserole; or My Continued Love of Baked Chomp

2011-07-12T11:58:00.000-07:00

I've been really into casseroles lately. This is mostly because they freeze so easily, which means that I can save half of them for later. This means that I won't be so tempted to order takeout when I'm out of food or too busy to cook. Another reason I'm on such a kick could also be that they are relatively easy, and incredibly tasty. Either way, Horray for Casseroles!

A neat tip I've been using is to line the baking dish with aluminum foil before filling it with the yummy ingredients. Then, once the meal is done and cooled, it can be neatly lifted out of the pan, wrapped up with more foil, and placed in the freezer. If it's at all soggy or messy, I bag the whole thing in a ziploc to avoid leakage. The meal can be thawed in the fridge over 24 hours.

I was a little intimidated by this recipe because it doesn't call for any sauce-- only chicken broth. I made it anyway though, and got great results. I used Better than Bouillon which in this case came out a tad salty. I used 1/2 tea. with 1 cup of water, and I would use less of it next time.

This calls for chicken sausage but I couldn't find any at the grocery so I used hot Boulder Sausage (a pork product) instead. We like things spicy, and this was just the ticket. I also added 3-4 cloves of garlic, and twice the mozzarella.

Recipe:

Zucchini, Sausage, and Feta Casserole

* YIELD: 6 servings (serving size: 1 cup)
* COURSE: Casseroles

Ingredients

* 2 1/2 cups uncooked ziti (short tube-shaped pasta)
* 8 ounces chicken sausage
* Cooking spray
* 1 teaspoon olive oil
* 5 cups thinly sliced zucchini (about 1 1/2 pounds)
* 2 cups vertically sliced onion (about 1)
* 1/2 teaspoon kosher salt
* 1/4 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
* 3 garlic cloves, minced
* 1/2 cup fat-free, less-sodium chicken broth
* 2 teaspoons all-purpose flour
* 1/2 cup (2 ounces) crumbled feta cheese
* 1/2 cup (2 ounces) shredded part-skim mozzarella cheese

Preparation

Preheat oven to 400°.

Cook pasta in boiling water 5 minutes, omitting salt and fat; drain.

Remove casings from sausage. Heat a large nonstick skillet over medium-high heat. Coat pan with cooking spray. Add sausage to pan; cook until browned, stirring to crumble. Remove from pan. Heat oil in pan. Add zucchini, onion, salt, pepper, and garlic. Cook 10 minutes or until vegetables are tender and zucchini begins to brown, stirring occasionally.

Combine broth and flour in a small bowl, stirring with a whisk. Add broth mixture to pan; cook 1 minute. Combine zucchini mixture, pasta, sausage, and feta cheese in a large bowl; toss well. Spoon pasta mixture into an 11 x 7-inch baking dish coated with cooking spray. Sprinkle evenly with mozzarella cheese. Bake at 400° for 20 minutes or until bubbly and lightly browned.

This turned out really well! I hope you enjoy it as much as I did.

bacon and chipotle corn chowder

2011-07-11T09:40:00.000-07:00

I had a great weekend. There was dancing, barbecuing, reading, and watching the rain splash down from the eaves. It has been a very wet July, and I am loving it!

This is an incredibly delicious recipe. The best part about it is the sweet corn off the cob. The ears are currently a quarter each at my grocery store. Talk about a deal :).

I followed this recipe from Pioneer Woman almost exactly, except I didn't need any thickener, and I used half a package of bacon instead of the two slices because, well, really just because.

Recipe:

Ingredients

1/2 package Bacon, Cut Into 1/2-inch Pieces (or Smaller)
1 yellow onion, diced
5 ears Corn, Shucked (about 4 Cups)
2 whole Chipotle Peppers In Adobo Sauce, Finely Diced
1 whole 4-ounce Can Diced Green Chilies
32 ounces, fluid Low Sodium Chicken Broth (I use better than bouillon and water)
1 pint Heavy Whipping Cream

Preparation Instructions

(Carefully) slice the corn kernels off the cob. Set aside.

Add bacon pieces to a pot or dutch oven over medium heat. Cook for a couple of minutes. Drain most of the drippings. Throw in diced onion and stir, cooking the onion for 3 to 4 minutes. Add butter if necessary. Add corn. Stir and cook for one minute. Add both kinds of chilies and stir.

Pour in chicken broth and cream. Stir and bring to a boil. Reduce heat to low.

Cook for another ten minutes.

I hope you also had a great weekend. Enjoy!

summer solstice and shrimp in pesto cream sauce

2011-06-22T10:55:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was the summer solstice, which meant it's the longest day of the year as well as the first day of summer. As my brother pointed out, the longest day of the summer is actually the first day of summer. This is somewhat counter-intuitive, as I've always thought of summer getting warmer and longer over time. Obviously though, I've been wrong about that my whole life.

The late sunlight allowed me to take a naturally lit pic of this delicious meal I made with mostly ingredients I had at home. The sauce recipe is an Allrecipes favorite that I tweeked a bit for my purposes.

Ingredients

14 oz half and half
5 T butter
5 oz Parmesan, shredded
1/2 jar of pesto
1/2 box whole wheat shells
8 oz mushrooms chopped
1/2 onion chopped
1/2 red bell pepper chopped
1 jalapeño chopped with gloves on
1 lb shrimp, shelled and deveined
5 shakes garlic powder
~2 T. flour
3 pinches salt

Directions

1. Melt some butter in a large pan until it covers the bottom. Use medium heat.
2. Add shrimp to the pan and cook on each side until pink. Taste to make sure they are done and remove to a storage area.
3. Add a tad more butter to the pan (as needed) and cook veggies until they are soft. Remove veggies to the storage area.
4. Set noodles up in a separate pan to boil.
5. Add the rest of the butter to the pan and stir constantly until melted. Slowly add flour and stir until mixture is thickened.
6. Slowly pour a little cream in at a time, making sure that it thickens before adding more.
7. Add flour and cream in increments, then add Parmesan cheese and pesto. Stir, stir stir!
8. Once you've got the consistency you want (thick but not too thick), stir in the stored shrimp and veggies and the noodles until they are warmed. Add garlic powder and salt.

9. Add some of the finished product to a plate and take it out onto the patio. Bring the book you're reading (for me, it was _Delusions of Gender_ by Cordelia Fine), and dig in!

veggie quesadillas

2011-06-16T18:51:00.000-07:00

I love quesadillas. I order them in restaurants, and I make them at home. I dip them in ranch, salsa, and guacamole. Basically, MMmmm.

This is a really simple recipe partly inspired by Pioneer Woman's recipe (and partly just made up of what was on sale/in the fridge).

You will need a toaster oven.

Ingredients
1 package of tortillas (ideally, from a tortillaria)
1 block of cheese (3-5 oz per 'dilla)
1 zucchini, sliced
1 red pepper, sliced
1 8 oz package mushrooms, sliced
butter for pan frying

Steps
1. Melt butter in the pan
2. Pour chopped veggies into pan (probably in batches, depending on the size of your pan)
3. Shred cheese
4. Cook veggies until they are soft
5. For each 'dilla, take one tortilla, add veggies and cheese, and toast in a toaster oven.
6. Add to a plate with dipping sauce, and let the festivities commence.

combo baked shells lasagna

2011-06-14T19:22:00.000-07:00

This is sort of lasagna, only with shells. I like the idea of combining meat lasag and veggie lasag in one combo dish.

1 package Italian sausage (I use Boulder Sausage)
1/2 package whole wheat shells
1 small package organic ricotta
16 oz mozzarella
1/2 block Parmesan
1 slice whole wheat bread, toasted and crumbed (I use my burr mixer cuisinart attachment)
1 jar organic tomato sauce
4 garlic cloves, pressed
3 zucchinis, sliced
large casserole dish
15 shakes of dried oregano

1. Boil the noodles.
2. Add the garlic and the sausage to the pan and cook until done. Remove from pan and pat dry with paper towels. Drain pan.
3. Place zucchinis in pan and fry.
4. Toast bread twice in toaster and break up with hands. Grind with 2-4 tab. shredded Parmesan in Cuisinart until powder.
5. Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.
6.Combine ricotta, Parmesan, mozzarella, and oregano together on a plate until well mixed. Reserve some mozzarella.
7. Microwave jar of sauce 1 minute until heated (this speeds up the overall cook time).
6. Once zucchini are soft and noodles are cooked and drained, begin layering ingredients into casserole dish.
7. Layer beginning with sauce, then noodles, ricotta mixture, zucchini slices, sausage, mozzarella, and then start with sauce again until dish is full.
8. Sprinkle bread crumb/Parmesan mixture over the top.
9. Bake for 1/2 to 1 hour until bubbling in middle.

p.s. I know I need help with my pictures. I'm still learning.

shrimp and veggie chowder

2011-06-14T09:09:00.000-07:00

Summer is here, and I’ve been spending it relaxing in the back yard watching the birds bathe in the pond and gobbling up books. I’m mostly reading about feminist topics, which has been really good for me. I’m growing and learning in brand new ways, and it’s beautiful. I’ve also joined a feminist book club, and am meeting some truly amazing women. We're off to a great start.

This past Sunday I made this chowder with a few changes. I used homemade chicken broth instead of veggie (we had some in the freezer). I added mushrooms, bell peppers, and a jalapeño. I used dried thyme, and added some cumin and chili powder to the finished product. I think next time I’ll add some corn.

Ingredients
2 cups organic vegetable broth
2 teaspoons minced fresh thyme
1/2 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
1 tablespoon olive oil
1/2 cup prechopped carrot
1/2 cup prechopped onion
1/4 cup prechopped celery
2 tablespoons all-purpose flour
1 pound medium peeled and deveined shrimp
1/3 cup heavy whipping cream

Preparation
1. Pour broth into a 2-cup glass measure. Microwave at MEDIUM-HIGH 1 minute.

2. Combine broth, thyme, and black pepper in a large saucepan over medium-high heat, and simmer.

3. Heat a medium skillet over medium-high heat. Add oil to pan; swirl to coat. Add carrot, onion, and celery; sauté for 3 minutes or until tender. Add flour, stirring with a whisk. Stir carrot mixture and shrimp into broth mixture; cover and simmer 5 minutes. Stir in cream; cover and simmer 4 minutes.

The partner and the brother said they loved this.

chicken divan on a Wednesday

2011-05-12T07:33:00.000-07:00

Things have been super rainy lately, which is odd for Colorado. But it gives me an opportunity to stay in and cook while listening to the drops fall against the windows. Plus, the yard is really green. Hello spring!

I've stumbled upon a pretty awesome blog called 365 Days of Baking where I discovered a recipe for Chicken Divan. I've never eaten this particular dish, but it looked fabulous the way this blogger made it. Plus, she gave it a 4 out of 4 rolling pins! I like the idea of rating a recipe when I make it. Then again, I make a lot of food that doesn't show up on this blog because, well, it's just not worth repeating. Like this Amy's Cilantro Cream Sauce recipe over at allrecipes. That was just inedible.

Here is the Chicken Divan recipe from 365 Days of Baking:

"Chicken Divan - serves 4

¼ cup butter or margarine
¼ cup sifted flour
1 cup chicken broth
1 cup milk
¾ teaspoon salt
1/8 teaspoon white pepper
¼ cup grated Parmesan cheese
3 tablespoons dry sherry
1 head broccoli (about 1½ pounds) trimmed and chopped
3 cooked chicken breasts ( about 1- 1½ pounds), cut into small pieces
1 cup shredded Cheddar/ Monterey Jack Cheese
½ cup heavy cream

Preheat oven to 350ºF.

Melt butter in a saucepan over moderate heat, blend in flour, slowly add broth and milk, and heat stirring until thickened; mix in salt, pepper, ¼ cup cheese, and the sherry.

Arrange broccoli in a single layer in a buttered 8 X 8-inch baking dish and top with chopped chicken. Spread shredded cheddar/jack cheese evenly over chicken.

Beat cream until soft peaks form and fold into sauce.

Pour evenly over chicken.

Bake, uncovered about ½ hour until bubbly.

Broil quickly to brown and serve."

I am not sure that I whipped the cream up quite enough. The end result was a tad soupy. To counter that, in the future I might use some brown rice in the dish, or perhaps use less cream. However, it was still fabulous with some siracha mixed in at the end. Four rolling pins indeed!

Salsa on Mother's Day

2011-05-10T13:47:00.000-07:00

I hosted Mother's day this year for grandma and mom. I had a theme of Cinco (more like Ocho, but whatever) de Mayo and Happy Mom Day all rolled into one. It was a blast hosting in our new rental house on the patio.

I borrowed this recipe from Veggie Wiz and it tasted so fresh. Just like spring!

Here is her recipe. My only change was to use the stick blender:

"For 4-6 servings:

5 tomatoes
1/2 cup chopped coriander/cilantro
1 onion
2 cloves garlic
2 tbsp chopped jalapenos
1 green chilli, chopped
1 tbsp olive oil
juice of 1 lemon
1 tsp salt

Rough chop the tomatoes, onions, and garlic. Put all the ingredients into a food processor or blender, and and turn on at the lowest speed for 10-15 seconds. Check the consistency. If needed, repeat one more time. Be careful not to puree it. You want the salsa to be a little chunky.

Keep in the refrigerator for 15-20 minutes if you have the time. It helps the flavors mix. Serve with crisp tortilla chips, or use to make your favorite mexican dish!"

I love this time of year. Happy Mother's Day to all the moms out there!

Meatballs

2011-04-25T15:00:00.000-07:00

Ingredients

6 oz parmesan
6 oz cheddar
1 onion, finely chopped
1 cylinder ground pork
1 cylinder ground beef
15 oz. bread crumbs (from real bread)
1 tsp curry powder
1tsp chili powder
2 tsp dry oregano

Directions

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees and cover a pizza pan/cookie sheet with foil
2. Stir fry onion for 10 minutes.
3. Take meat out from packages and pour into bowl.
4. Add grated cheese, spices, onion, and bread crumbs
5. Mix ingredients together by smooshing them through your clean hands until well combined
6. Take ½ inch to 1 and ½ inch pieces of mixture into your hands and roll into balls
7. Place little balls of meat onto foil. When pan is full, place in oven for 30-45 minutes
8. Let meatballs cool. To remove grease, pat dry with paper towels.
9. Serve with ranch dressing as an appetizer, or over pasta with vodka sauce.

These meatballs are so delicious. I do recommend removing the grease once they have cooled. I want them for breakfast, lunch, and dinner!

zuccanoes with cream cheese and jalapeños

2011-04-25T09:01:00.000-07:00

I wrote this recipe, although the idea for zuccanoes was inspired by the Moosewood Cookbook

Ingredients

6 large zucchinis (split in half, middle taken out w/ melon baller)
½ onion
1 package mushrooms, sliced thin
3 carrots, sliced very tiny
3 cloves garlic, pressed
1 package cream cheese @ room temperature
1 jalapeno sliced while wearing gloves
1/3 cup Shredded parmesan cheese mixed in, and 1/3 on top
Bread crumbs (from real toasted, crumbled bread)
Dash of salt

Directions

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
2. Stir fry your zucchini innards, mushrooms, onions, carrots, pressed garlic, and jalapenos in oil over the range until all are soft.
3. Add 1/3 cup shredded parmesan cheese, cubed cream cheese and a dash of salt to the stir fry and mix together until melted.
4. Use your bermixer to mash all this deliciousness together (a blender also works)
5. Fill the zucchini shells with the cheese and veggie mixture. Sprinkle the rest of the parmesan cheese on the top, and finish with the bread crumbs.
6. Bake for 30 minutes to an hour.

Euthyphro's Horns

2011-04-12T13:47:00.000-07:00

I found this post over at Daylight Atheism entitled Defending Genocide, Redux

It reminds me of a topic I teach in my ethics class called Euthyphro's Dilemma (when I teach-- it's been about a year). Many may be very familiar with this topic. In any case, here goes my simplified version:

Euthyphro is an ancient Greek know-it-all whose ego is bigger than his brain. He sets out to answer the question:

What is god's relationship to goodness?

He comes up with two thoughts about what this relationship could be. Both of these ideas presume that goodness and god are related in an important way. Some agnostics (such as myself), atheists, and theists won't want to assume this, but we'll do so for the sake of argument.

Euthyphro's First Horn: God loves goodness because it is good

In this case, the quality of goodness is out there floating about in the universe like a delicious ice cream sandwich. God says hey, check that out. That is a fabulous desert entree. I recognize its inherent wonderfulness, and I hereby affirm "it is good".

The problem with this is that god doesn't really have anything to do with whether the ice cream sandwich is good. He just appreciates its inherent goodness, and places his stamp of approval on it. The same is true of actions such as generosity to strangers. God checks out the Samaritan, sees him taking care of the sick road dude, and just *sees* the inherent goodness of John Samaritan's actions. God's approval or disapproval of the actions doesn't make it good-- it's good all on its own. In other words, goodness is above god.

The positive thing about this horn is that we get to exercise our moral judgment muscles as we go about the world. If something like torture "seems" wrong, we can at least come up with a story about why that is. However, this horn of the dilemma doesn't tell us anything in particular about the character of goodness-- that is, what makes good things good? It only tells us that one of the characteristics of goodness is that god likes it.

Euthyphro's Second Horn: Goodness becomes good because god loves it (otherwise known as Divine Command Theory)

In this case, god goes about the universe dubbing certain activities (and lunch items) good. So for example, faithfulness to one's spouse is good-- irrespective of the quality of that action in itself. Eating shellfish is bad simply because god says so. If god says that murder is good, well by golly, it is! If god says "Hear ye- go kill the Cannonites and their children", well then that's the good, and woe to she who blogs differently.

There are two problems with this horn. One is that god arbitrarily decides what is good, without an external measuring stick. This means that however "wrong" god's judgments may seem to us, that merely tells us what bad judges we are of morality.

Additionally, some might find this horn morally repugnant, since it takes away our ability to make moral judgments for ourselves and forces us to regard any old nasty behavior as "good" just because god says so. It also gives terrorists the ability to justify their own immoral and disgusting actions because, "God says that what I'm doing is good." Now they may be wrong about what god says, but any of us could be. Therein lies the danger.

Those are Euthyphro's horns. Each horn has some points in its favor, and some against. If you believe that one of the horns is correct, you've got to either "bite the bullet" on the consequences of that horn (ie you've got to accept them), or argue that they aren't really consequences of that horn.

For example, if you go with the first horn of the dilemma, you could "bite the bullet" and agree that goodness may be a quality that is above god, but that's really not so bad (for whatever reason). Or you could say that although that horn is the correct one, that doesn't really mean that goodness is above god (though that's a tough argument to make, and many a student of philosophy has tried and failed).

Back to our original topic. The apologists referenced at Daylight Atheism are trying to make sense of the fact that the Bible depicts instances of god-endorsed genocide and (what seem to be) morally objectionable behaviors (such as stoning children for not obeying their parents, or women for engaging in premaritals). Many of them take Euthyphro's second horn of the dilemma, and bite the bullet on god's arbitrary decision regarding what is good. For example, one commenter states:

I was saying, the Amalekite [genocide] was done for a purpose, and the Holocaust was allowed for a purpose. Without knowing what that purpose is, no human is in a position to impose a moral judgement for either.

In other words, these seemingly horrible events will end up being good according to god's plan, just because he (god) says so. God may or may not have reasons that seem morally appropriate given our standards of goodness, but phooey on us and our standards.

With the second horn of Euthyphro's dilemma endorsed in this way, we can see what a difficult bullet the Divine Command Theory apologist has to bite. God's arbitrary judgment regarding whether Biblical genocide is good makes him a god that many folks would not, ceteris paribus, choose to worship (not to mention Problem of Evil).

Euthyphro's horns both have objectionable consequences. Endorsing the second horn leads us into the unfortunate position of having nothing further to say about the morality of seemingly horrible atrocities, which is not a comfortable place to be when defending a theory of morality.

Easy Lasagna

2011-04-08T10:20:00.000-07:00

Sometimes, you really just want to throw dinner in the oven and get on with the evening*.

This is a recipe for one of those days.

You Will Need:
16 ounces Italian sausage
10 whole wheat lasagna noodles
1 jar tomato sauce (not in a can—to avoid BPA)
14 ounces ricotta cheese
8 ounces mozzarella
1.tsp. cumin
2 tsp. oregano
1 tsp garlic powder

Instructions
1. Preheat the oven to 350 degrees.
2. Fry up the Italian sausage until it is done. Drain.
3. At the same time, boil the lasagna noodles.
4. Mix the tomato sauce in with the sausage, and add the spices.
5. Shred the mozzarella and mush it in with the ricotta (leave about 1/6 of the shredded cheese aside).
6. Layer the lasagna in the pan, starting with the meat sauce, followed by the cheese mixture, and finishing with the noodles.
7. When you are out of layering materials, finish the top layer with sauce and sprinkle mozzarella on top.
8. Place in the oven for 35-50 minutes. Lasagna is done when bubbling in the middle.
I admit—this isn’t one of my most exciting recipes. But it’s delicious (partner says so!) and so easy.

*In my case, the rest of the evening was a walk in the woods (the green spring is coming!), some time between the pages of my book club book (_Brave New World_), and some Colbert/Daily Show. I love this life!

peanut butter soup

2011-04-04T07:57:00.000-07:00

This turned out very well. I got the recipe from Kayotic Kitchen, but I changed a few things. I didn't use spinach or onions, and I added on can of coconut milk and zucchini. I also used bulgur instead of rice on the side.

I highly recommend adding a bit of a cream base. I think it compliments the peanut butter, and helps it all mix in together.

check out those paper flames

2011-03-31T09:50:00.000-07:00

"Agree with me, or you will burn in hell for eternity."

Sounds like coercion, rather than a free choice.

tortilla soup

2011-03-24T09:36:00.000-07:00

Cream Cheese Wontons

2010-12-20T12:34:00.000-08:00

This weekend we celebrated mom's birthday. I made panang with stir fry steak, and a wonton appetizer.

I've never made wontons before, and was a little intimidated to prepare them for my family without a "practice round" first. However, these were super easy and fun! I got the family involved in the forming and frying process.

I found this recipe, and made a few changes (one big change: I left out the imitation crab meat). Dad said these wontons taste just as good as those you get at the Chinese restaurant-- and maybe even better!

Here we go:

Ingredients:
oil for deep frying
2 (8 ounce) packages cream cheese,
softened
2 tablespoons soy sauce
2 teaspoons sesame oil
3 tablespoons Worcestershire sauce
1 bunch green onions, finely chopped
1 (14 ounce) package wonton wrappers
1 small bowl of water for finger wetting

Directions:

1. In a medium bowl, mix together cream cheese, soy sauce, sesame oil, garlic, Worcestershire sauce and green onions.
2. Place approximately 1 teaspoon of the cream cheese mixture in the center of each wonton wrapper.
3. Wet fingers and trace the edges of the wonton wrappers. Fold four corners up, and press to seal edges.
4. Heat oil in a small saucepan to 375 degrees F (190 degrees C) Note: the smaller the pan, the less oil you'll need to deep fry.
5. In small batches, deep fry the wontons until golden brown, 2 to 4 minutes. Drain on paper towels and serve warm.

This picture isn't in total focus, but believe me-- these are great!

mulligatawny soup

2010-12-09T09:02:00.000-08:00

I was inspired by these recipes and made the soup my own. It turned out to be a hearty stick-to-your-bones type of affair, and so delicious. I made the recipe huge so that I could eat this all week, but it didn't last long!

Shana's Mulligatawny Soup

Ingrdients:
8 carrots
1 bunch celery
2 apples
2 onions
1 green pepper
1 heaping tablespoon chopped ginger
4 cups water
1 heaping tablespoon (better than bouillon) chicken bouillon
2 tablespoons curry
3 shakes turmeric
2 cans coconut milk
1 can light coconut milk
1 tablespoon butter

Directions:
1. Chop everything that needs to be chopped.
2. Throw onions in a huge pan with butter. Saute until clear.
3. Saute rest of veggies until carrots are soft-ish.
4. Add 4 cups of water and chicken bouillon
5. Add curry, thyme, turmeric
6. Add coconut milk
7. Blend 3/4 of the cooked deliciousness
8. Serve with a smidge of sriracha, a sprinkle of salt and pepper, and some toasted bread

ENJOY

fatty chocolate chip cookies

2010-11-15T13:20:00.000-08:00

This weekend was cold and wintery. I have a bad attitude about this sort of weather that I should probably learn to get rid of. In the meantime though, the only cure I know of for the winter blues is making delicious food in the kitchen.

I found this recipe for cookies and decided to go ahead and make them. Here's the recipe:

Best Big, Fat, Chewy Chocolate Chip Cookies

Ingredients:
2 cups all-purpose flour
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon salt
3/4 cup unsalted butter, melted
1 cup packed brown sugar
1/2 cup white sugar
1 tablespoon vanilla extract
1 egg
1 egg yolk
2 cups semisweet chocolate chips

Directions:

1. Preheat the oven to 325 degrees F (165 degrees C). Grease cookie sheets or line with parchment paper.

2. Sift together the flour, baking soda and salt; set aside.

3. In a medium bowl, cream together the melted butter, brown sugar and white sugar until well blended. Beat in the vanilla, egg, and egg yolk until light and creamy. Mix in the sifted ingredients until just blended. Stir in the chocolate chips by hand using a wooden spoon. Drop cookie dough 1/4 cup at a time onto the prepared cookie sheets. Cookies should be about 3 inches apart.

4. Bake for 15 to 17 minutes in the preheated oven, or until the edges are lightly toasted. Cool on baking sheets for a few minutes before transferring to wire racks to cool completely.

*

Unfortunately, I didn't remember to buy butter at the store. So, I had to improvise.

I used about 1/8 cup of real butter (what was left in the fridge), some ghee, some oil, some peanut butter, and some homemade apple butter (A. had canned it from apples he harvested at his last organic farm job) instead of the 3/4 cup of butter the recipe calls for.

I didn't have any brown sugar, so I used a little more of the white stuff than the recipe calls for and that was good. Also, I subbed wheat flour for half of the white. I'd like to cook with all wheat, but it often makes things taste a little odd if you don't use any white at all.

I think this is the first time I've ever made cookies from scratch (not counting all those times as a child when I added the flour to mom's cookies and licked the spatula when we were done). These were a real hit! I made them wide and delightfully rotund. The "real" camera is currently out of commission, so I hope you get a sense of how lovely these were from my camera phone:

Stay warm, wherever you are!

Chicken Tetrazzini

2010-11-03T15:46:00.000-07:00

This is my mom's recipe. It's interesting because you can see the way it has evolved over time from the recipe card to her own real-life-tried-and-true version. I have no problem hacking up recipes-- there's not really such a thing as a "real" recipe anyway. But then again, I like the progress you can see in what she sent me, so I'm including it in its entirety. I love the crispy crunchy top of this easy-to-make casserole.

Chicken Tetrazzini Casserole

4½ lb Chicken roaster (cut up) (I use probably 2 lbs)
2 tsp salt
1tsp onion salt
1 tsp celery salt
(If you were following the real recipe you would cover the chicken with water and simmer 1 to 1 ¼ hours until tender. Cool and remove meat.)
I never do this. I just cook a few, maybe 4 chicken breasts. You can roast, or boil or microwave, however you like. You can use a whole chicken if you like. It’s usually cheaper. I hate de-boning chicken.

½ lb spaghettini
2 T salt (never use it)
In 2 1/2 Cups of Chicken broth, plus enough water to make 3qts.
Cook Spaghettini until tender. Drain and save 2 1/2 C of broth.

3T Butter
In skillet, heat butter add mushrooms
½ lb sliced mushrooms and sprinkle with lemon juice and salt.
(I use more mushrooms) Sauté until soft not brown.
1 T lemon juice
½ tsp salt

3T Butter In saucepan melt butter, remove from heat
2T flour and add flour and seasonings. Slowly stir in
¼ tsp paprika 2 1/2 C reserved broth.
1/2 tsp salt ¼ C Sherry may replaced ½ broth. (Never have tried this)
¼ tsp pepper Cook sauce, stirring until thickened.
1/8 tsp nutmeg
1 C light cream

In 12x8 baking dish Toss mushrooms and chicken with spaghetini. Toss sauce into all. Sprinkle with 2/3 Parmesan cheese and paprika. Bake 25 min. in 400 oven until hot.
Can be frozen after assembling.
Thaw and bake 25 min.

Thanks Mom-- you inspire me!

I did make a few changes of my own to this. I used no chicken broth because last time I made it with the broth it was too runny. I probably would use some next time, because this dried out in a few days. I added about 1/4th cup shredded parmesan (the hard, real stuff-- don't compromise and use the powdered can business) to the cream and mixed the two together before pouring them over the noodles. Finally, I salted the end result (on my plate) and added a squirt of Siracha (because I add that to pretty much everything).

I like the idea some have had to use leftover Tgiving turkey in this recipe. Maybe for its next iteration I'll try that. Happy tasting!

FAT TALK

2010-10-18T12:40:00.001-07:00

"You look great! Have you lost weight?"

"I need to lose five pounds."

"Do you know how many calories are in that?"

"She used to be so skinny before she had that baby."

These are all examples of fat talk. When we talk about fat as a negative characteristic (our own as well as others'), we perpetuate the impossible thin ideal and we harm each other.

"Normal" body size is different for everyone. There is no shape we are all supposed to be, and there is no reason to shame those who fall outside the ridiculous standards of our culture.

There is real harm in acting as though fat is bad, and thin is good.

Statistics on anorexia show that mortality rates from anorexia are the highest of any psychological disorder.

A British survey of 1,000 girls aged between 12 and 18

found that about two thirds want to lose weight and 63 per cent feel under pressure to change their appearance.

Our fat talk has consequences.

With 10 million women suffering from eating disorders nationwide, body image is one of the biggest issues we face as women today. It’s time to free ourselves from fat talk, and focus on the healthy ideal–which looks different for every woman–and focuses on health, NOT weight or size.

This is Fat Talk Free week. You can pledge to stop the fat talk here. You can compliment a friend on how fast she ran that mile, or how delicious her meal was. You can tell your mom what a great job she did raising you, instead of how slim she looks in that outfit. You can list three of your own great accomplishments, instead of belittling yourself for that German chocolate cake you ate.

Become at home in your body-- whatever size it is!

spending cuts

2010-10-12T14:55:00.000-07:00

After a particularly spendy summer (complete with car break down and a few short trips to see close friends), I’ve developed a determination to spend less. I’m trying to go to the grocery store as infrequently as I can, since I know that each time I go I’ll be drawn in by “sales” for items I don’t really need. This has inspired a creative twist on my cooking—I have to make do with whatever ingredients are in my cabinet.

I want to pay off the debt, take a dream vacation to Australia/ New Zealand, and then have a decent start on my life (who knows—maybe we’ll buy a house some decade).
.
It’s amazing what happens when you start tracking where all your money goes. I care more about enjoying good food, good drink, and good company than I do about making a good impression with what I drive or wear. Still, I won’t be making any trips to the consignment shop anytime soon, or even to the happiest of hours. It’s going to be a tight winter.

In some ways, this has been fun. I cook a lot more, and I spend a lot less. Making food is a tetris game, where eating something delicious and healthy is the goal. However, it’s challenging as well. I miss picking up Thai food take out, or grabbing a beer with friends while A. is at work. I miss the freedom of financial laxity.

Now I’m finding myself isolated, since being social often costs money. The other week I was invited to a baby’s birthday party, and I knew that I couldn’t show up empty-handed. I’m mindful of being considered “cheap”. If I pick up gifts at the dollar store, is that a good compromise? What if my friend drives half way and I give her gas money? How much gas money should I give?

I hate this niggling fuss over money! It’s not my style at all. But it’s the situation I’m in, and I’ve got to adapt.

Why is it that we’ve developed socialization around purchasing goods? I want to see these people, but I know that

1. They won’t be willing to drive to where I live since it’s out of the way
2. I can’t afford to go meet with them, since most destinations are not free

It’s not good to be cut off from others. I’ve seen the effect it has on me. My frame feels smaller, and I’m less sure of myself. Maybe there’s another way though.

I’m on the lookout for pumpkin-carving house parties, and park-based kickball games. How low can this budget go?

chicken and peanut butter soup

2010-09-30T09:36:00.000-07:00

This was so, so good. I love peanut butter, and I love soup. Unfortunately, I failed to create a real recipe for this-- I just threw it together. I was, however, inspired by these recipes:

Peanut Butter Vegetable Chicken Soup
Chicken Palava
African Chicken Peanut Butter Soup

I stir-fried zucchini, carrots, and onion. Then I added some chicken broth and blended this all together. In the meantime, I stir-fried some organic chicken breasts until they were done.

I blended the cooked vegetables, and put them back in the pan. Then I added the chicken to this soup. I added about 12 ounces of peanut butter, garlic powder, cumin, coriander, salt, pepper, red pepper flakes, curry powder, and cayenne. I simmered for about 20-30 minutes.

What a flavor punch! I didn't even add any cream/dairy to this recipe-- it was amazing on its own.

List of Rude Behaviors

2010-09-16T09:40:00.001-07:00

We aren't programmed to know the exact boundaries of appropriate behavior. Yet, many of us know most of the time what is and is not the correct way to act.

It's fascinating to see how various folks perceive rudeness. Here is a list of some behaviors I think are rude:

• Using the bathroom as a non-customer

• Leaving two people who don’t know each other in mid conversation w/o making sure they have something to talk about

• Interrupting

• Staying beyond one’s welcome (how do we know when this is?)

• Monopolizing conversation with a topic others don’t care about/ don’t give feedback about

• Talking in a group without including all persons present in the conversation (even via eye contact)

• Smoking without asking if those in the group mind

• Getting something to eat/drink without offering it to others

• Typing in all capital letters

• If someone is entering a room behind you, not holding the door open behind you for that person

• Taking the last valuable thing (ie last doughnut, yoga mat, etc) without offering it to others

• Cutting people off on the road

• Ignoring social cues regarding what others in the group want to do/talk about

• Making plans with someone, then ditching them

• Mocking, sarcastic comments—picking on or making fun of someone

• Intentionally embarrassing others

• Not acknowledging the checkout worker, mechanic, server, etc—treat human beings as people

• Looking at cell phone in a fancy restaurant

• Browsing the internet while talking to someone

• Blowing nose in public

• Chastising employees in front of one another or in front of customers

• Using obscenities in the workplace

• Wearing immodest/inappropriate-to-the-occasion outerwear

In general, if you have two courses of action—the first of which will cause offense, the second of which will not, you ought to take the second (ceteris paribus).

Some may disagree with this list-- it's by no means exhaustive. I'm always interested in learning if I am accidentally violating social norms.

panang tofu curry

2010-09-14T11:36:00.000-07:00

I highly encourage you to make this as soon as you can. It was so incredibly delicious-- wow.

I didn't write the recipe-- it's a Bon Appétit jobby.

I'll reprint the recipe here. The differences are: I used a sweet walla walla onion instead of a shallot, doubled the whole thing, used half light and half whole fat coconut milk, used lime juice, and used half as much tofu and tried freezing it first to soak out the water (I have a problem with wet tofu. None of the "fixes" I've seen really do exactly what I want. The search continues..). Of course, I used what veggies I had and didn't happen to have carrots or red peppers. Also, I left it to cook down on low for about half an hour while A. and I went on a walk in the park. You may want to serve this over brown rice, so make sure you cook that in a timely fashion.

Here it is:

* 1 1/2 tablespoons olive oil
* 1/2 cup finely chopped shallots
* 2 tablespoons finely grated peeled ginger
* 4 garlic cloves, finely chopped
* 1/4 cup organic peanut butter
* 2 teaspoons turmeric
* 1 teaspoon ground cumin
* 1 teaspoon hot chili paste (such as sambal oelek)*
* 1 cup water
* 1 13 1/2-to 14-ounce can organic light coconut milk
* 3 kaffir lime leaves or 3 tablespoons fresh lime juice and 1 1/2 teaspoons finely grated lime peel
* 1 tablespoon (firmly packed) golden brown sugar
* 2 14-ounce packages organic firm tofu, drained, cut into 1-inch cubes 1 1/2 cups 1/4- to 1/3-inch-thick slices peeled carrots (about 3 medium)
* 1 1/2 cups 1/4- to 1/3-inch-thick slices peeled carrots (about 3 medium)
* 1 large red bell pepper, cut into 3/4-inch pieces

Preparation

Heat oil in heavy large skillet over medium-high heat. Add shallots, ginger, and garlic; cook until shallots are tender, about 6 minutes. Add peanut butter, turmeric, cumin, and chili paste; stir until fragrant, 1 to 2 minutes. Whisk in 1 cup water, then coconut milk, lime leaves, and brown sugar; bring to simmer. Season sauce with salt. Add tofu, carrots, and bell pepper; simmer over medium heat until carrots are tender, adjusting heat to medium-low if beginning to boil and occasionally stirring gently, about 20 minutes. Season to taste with salt. DO AHEAD: Can be made 3 days ahead. Cool slightly, cover, and chill. Rewarm over medium heat before serving.

ricotta lasagna roll ups

2010-09-14T11:17:00.001-07:00

The other day I was browsing through some recipes. I wanted whole wheat stuffed shells inspired by these these over at Annie's Eats. Once I got to the store though, I only saw enriched white flour jumbo shells. Not to be dissuaded, however, I figured whole wheat lasagna noodles would roll up just fine.

I got home from a lovely night out with a friend and decided it wasn't too late to make some deliciousness. You'll notice, though, that I have used some prepared foods in this recipe. Caveat Emptor.

Begin boiling some lazag noodles. I prefer whole wheat- why not?
Preheat the oven to 350. This is the magical temperature, which means that I use it when I'm going off recipe.
Thaw some frozen spinach and squeeze the water out of it until it's as dry as possible.
Get a whole container of ricotta cheese and pour it onto a plate.
Grate as much hard parmesan cheese as you like. I like a lot.
Blanket it with 1/2 T. each of garlic powder and nutmeg.
Massage the ricotta, parmesan, and spinach together. Get your hands all cheesy.
Once noodles are done, place the spinach cheese mixture into each noodle flat, and then roll it up. Some filling will squeeze out the sides of these burritos, but that's okay.
Fill a glass casserole pan with these.
Get a jar of Vodka Sauce

(I use Classico, because the ingredients are pretty natural) and pour over the top.
Sprinkle the leftover cheese sauce on everything (if you need more, grate some more parm) and stick in the oven for about 1/2 hour. Check at 20 mins.

Once this cooled, I froze a lot of it. It was so very delicious- and barely took any time to make at all. Maybe next time I'll make my own Vodka sauce.

loaded enchiladas

2010-09-14T11:02:00.001-07:00

Lately I've been on a leftovers kick. I need to fill the freezer with good deliciousness so that I have things to eat on those days when I don't want to shop or pick up take out. I think it's a nesting instinct-- I'm the squirrel saving food for the long winter. Like I said, I'll go to great lengths to avoid eating Campbells.

A word on avoiding prepared food: it makes life more difficult by about three more-work-than-I-wanted points. Buying SmartOnes ravioli in a plastic tray is a simpler approach-- it doesn't require skills or shopping from a list, and it saves a lot of time. Cooking means sacrificing a space in your life that you could be spending on other things like reading, hiking, and calling your mom. But I think it's worth it. In the end, I feel better about myself and look forward to exerting my creativity in the kitchen. Plus, it really doesn't take all that long. At least, these yummies didn't.

For my enchiladas, I stir fried chicken thighs, onions, a batch of green chilles, and a green pepper. I spooned the stir fried mixture onto the corn tortillas and poured red enchilada sauce onto them, followed by shredded sharp cheddar and black olives. I baked at 350 for about 1/2 an hour. Then I loaded them up with guacamole for dinner, and froze the majority of them for later.

You'll notice that I need some practice rolling them. They were just too full to get closed, and the tortillas began to crack. So I said to heck with procedure, and baked them open-faced. Mmmmm I think I'll go thaw some tonight.

Campbell's Chunky aka What I Don't Eat for Lunch Every Day Anymore

2010-09-10T14:25:00.000-07:00

When I lived in Bloomington, my car died. It was winter, and I was stuck walking to work, the grocery store, and pretty much everywhere else. I couldn't carry much back in my grocery bag and backpack along the ice-coated sidewalks. I wasn't ingenious enough to figure out how cook "real" food that was easy to haul. Plus, the kitchen in the 7th street house was too freezing to spend much time in anyway.

So, I ate a lot of Campbell's Chunky soup. These little cylinders came to be known as Cans of Gross.

They weren't exactly gross. I just ate them every day and got sick of them, and then kept eating them. It was a depressing time.

Here are the ingredients to the can I ate most frequently-- Grilled Chicken and Sausage Gumbo :

Water, Diced Tomatoes in Tomato Juice, Rice, Chicken Meat Tomato Puree (Water, Tomato Paste), Andouille Sausage (Pork, Water, Seasonings [Spices, Dextrose, Dehydrated Onions, Dehydrated Garlic], Salt, Hickory Char Oil [Partially Hydrogenated Soybean Oil, Natural Woodside Flavor], Sodium Nitrite), Celery, Okra, Green Peppers, Contains Less than 2% of: Modified Wheat Starch, Green Chili Peppers, Salt, Chicken Stock, Sugar, Dehydrated Onions, Jalapeno Peppers, Dehydrated Red Peppers, Vegetables (Carrots, Onions, Celery), Dehydrated Garlic, Monosodium Glutamate, Spice, Soy Protein Concentrate, Modified Food Starch, Rice Starch, Dehydrated Parsley, Chicken, Chicken Flavor (Contains Chicken Fat, Flavoring, Dextrin), Sodium Phosphate, Potato Flour, Maltodextrin Flavoring, Chicken Fat, Dehydrated Carrots, Dehydrated Chicken.

I don't miss those days when I dreaded meals and hiking to the O'malias grocery. I think I let the carlessness go on for too long. But I was able to save enough money to come live in Colorado, where I am now very, very happy.

In any case, I try not to eat Campbell's Chunky soup anymore. This requires a lot of planning and home cooking on my part. I have to prepare for what I eat, rather than just grabbing food and moving out.

Lately, I've been cooking up delectables and freezing the majority of them for later. That way, if there's a day when I haven't prepared anything in advance, I'll resort to frozen whole foods rather than sadness in a can.

I'm so glad that I'm learning to cook and don't have the strength of my bag and the breadth of my arms as the limiting factors on my shopping experience.

Pictures of loaded enchiladas and bacon ricotta lasagna rolls to follow!

flawlessness

2010-09-02T07:33:00.000-07:00

I've been catching up with a lot of old friends lately.

My face and my frame certainly don't look the same way they did 8-10 years ago.

I have had physical "flaws" manifest themselves since then.

Experience gives us the appearance of age, no matter how much we do to try and stop it.

Age is beautiful. It is strong, healthy, and fluid. It is a physical representation of past days turning into evenings and nights birthing days. These things happen to us all, and they will continue to happen as long as we are alive.

Flaws are a good thing, in other words. We shouldn't try to prevent them or be ashamed of them-- least of all through plastic surgery.

Don't think about chopping your face or arms or belly up to make yourself stagnant and flat and flawless. Your flaws are wonderful, dynamic, and you need them. They make you beautiful.

Do you really want to look like a plastic shopping mall mannequin?

I prefer this:

Parmesan Spaghetti with Zucchini

2010-08-26T10:29:00.000-07:00

I actually made this a little while ago, but it was too good, simple, and interesting not to share-- albeit belatedly.

I adapted the recipe from *The Minimalist Cooks at Home* by Mark Bittman. My M-I-L gave the cookbook to A. and I. Thanks B!

Here's the adapted recipe. I don't specify amounts here really because this meal is a bit of a throw-together. It really works though. Your guests will love it. Just make sure you use real parmesan-- toss the powdered stuff far away from you.

The word of the day for this recipe is __simple__:

Parmesan Spaghetti with Zucchini

oil
1 large zucchini (mom's garden variety worked well!)
salt
pepper
crushed red pepper
1 egg
some basil
~1 c. real parmesan
garlic (cook's choice on the amount)
wheat spaghetti noodles

1. Boil spaghetti
2. Grate Cheese
2. Cook zucchini and garlic in oil in a wide pan
4. Stir egg and grated cheese together with basil
5. When zucchini is done, add noodles to the stir fry pan
6. Add egg and cheese mix to zucchini noodle mix
7. Stir together on range ~ 2 mins
8. Serve with crushed red pepper on top

Mmmm. Each ingredient compliments the others so well. I already want to make this again.

Take care of yourself. Tell your family and friends that you love them. Then make this for them to show it. :)

ToFabulous

2010-08-24T12:02:00.000-07:00

Last night was a Make Dinner night. I didn't really use a recipe. First, I started with a block of tofu.

Pretty boring, eh?

Next I cut it into little cubes:

Then I marinated it in these ingredients:

A dash of this, a smidgen of that, a little oil, and a bit of fresh chopped thyme. Once the tofu was marinating in the fridge, I massacred a bunch of yummy vegetables:

After the marinating had done its worst to the tofu, I stuck it in the oven at 350 degrees for a long time. Well, maybe 45 minutes to an hour.

In the meantime, I began to sauté the veggies. We've got:

1 yellow pepper
3/4 eggplant
1 yellow sweet onion
6 cloves garlic (because I love it)
5 mushrooms (that were half frozen because for some reason my fridge stays freezing even though I turn it waay down)
1/2 big zucchini
1 shredded carrot

At the same time, I began to boil some Better than Bouillon with about 8 oz water.

Once it was really boiling, I dissolved 3/4 tablespoon corn starch in a smidgen of water and poured it into the bouillon. I stirred for one minute, waiting for the magical thickening to begin.

At this time, the veggies were really looking (and smelling) delicious:

I added some soy and teriyaki to the bouillon, and poured it over the vegetables.

Now it was time to check on the tofu. Crispy and delicious:

Eventually, I boiled some brown rice to eat with this, but it is not pictured. Here is the finished pile of deliciousness:

I think it needs a little bit of salt, and a few red pepper flakes. You could even get some sweet teriyaki to go over the top.

I think this is a good base recipe, but it could be improved upon in many ways. Suggestions are always welcome!

good ingredients are expensive: Feta Cheese Sauce with Mushrooms

2010-08-17T08:06:00.001-07:00

I found a recipe I've been wanting to try for a long time.

I went to the grocery, and found myself overwhelmed by how expensive it is to get quality ingredients. For example, did you know that some cottage cheese has artificial flavoring? Ick.

Five medium-small organic tomatoes cost more than five bucks. Fresh organic thyme was about 2.50$! I had some shrimp in the freezer at home, but I didn't feel like deveining them so I used 16 ounces of mushroom instead.

Quality ingredients are expensive, but they do make an amazing taste difference. I served this with noodles and bulgur wheat because I didn't have enough of either to make a whole meal. If I were serving guests, I would have checked more closely to see if I had pasta at home. But it was just me, and I sure don't mind.

Pasta with Mushrooms and Feta Cheese Sauce

* 4 scallions
* 1 tablespoon fresh thyme
* 6 ounces feta cheese
* 14 ounces cottage cheese
* 16 ounces mushrooms, chopped
* 1 tomato, chopped
* Salt and pepper to taste
* 9 ounces spaghetti

1. Boil water for pasta.
2. Chop scallions, tomato, and thyme together in food processor.
3. Add feta and cottage cheese to processor and blend until creamy.
4. Saute' your mushrooms in oil or butter, making sure not to crowd them. Wait for them to brown.
4. When mushrooms are done, add blended cheese sauce to the pan and warm thoroughly.
5. Cook pasta until al dente. Drain and add pasta to sauce, stir together and serve.

Of course, we left the good camera in A.'s car, so my camera phone quality will have to do for today.

Now I've got all this extra fresh thyme-- I'll have to find another recipe to use it in!

Roasted Cauliflower Soup (Part II)

2010-08-13T14:55:00.000-07:00

This is a treasure. There are so few ingredients, and it's so easy to make. In this case, simpler is better. Ah! I love it when my kitchen produces food this good.

I also made this soup in March, but this time it turned out incredibly different.

I made sure to add enough water to make it sufficiently soupy. Additionally, I used real cream and didn't add bulgur, tofu, or carrots. This is one of the simplest soups I've ever tried to make, and it's one of my proudest kitchen accomplishments.

I don't have my version of the recipe with me at this moment, but I know I varied from the allrecipes.com version in the following ways:

I only had 1 1/2 head of cauliflower
I didn't use thyme or a bay leaf
I added cayenne (almost a bit too much, but we like things spicy)
I didn't add shallots
I roasted the cauliflower and garlic for 30 mins at 350 degrees F

You really should try cooking this. Impress your friends and parents!

Grilled OJ Chicken

2010-08-13T14:40:00.000-07:00

We inherited the grill from my parents, who received it for their wedding over 30 years ago.

Needless to say, it's a bit of a clunker. BUT I've learned the best way to light it.

Turn the gas on high, and sit under the grill itself-- making sure your head is below the bottom of the black frame. Light a straight match and stick it in one of the vent holes. Don't get spooked by the whoosh sound of igniting gas that follows!

I marinated some chicken with this recipe, and it turned out very flavorful. It was almost too sweet, so maybe next time I will leave out the honey.

Grilled Orange Juice Chicken (Shana-ified)

Ingredients

1/4 cup orange juice
1/4 cup soy sauce
2 cloves fresh garlic, minced
4 chicken breasts
smidgen of honey
glug or two of oil

Directions

1. In the blender, add orange juice, soy sauce, oil, honey, garlic. Run the blender to mix together. Place chicken in bowl, and coat well with marinade. Cover, and refrigerate at least 2 hours (I left it overnight).
2. Light the grill until hot.
3. Place chicken on grill, and cook, 10-12 minutes per side. Check for pinkness and remove. Grab utensils and chomp!

Cold Green Soup

2010-08-13T14:33:00.000-07:00

This is an absolutely delicious summer favorite.

Technically, it's called Cream of Spinach soup, but I've never used that name for it.

When I was little and my mom would make this for our family, I was *not* interested. Spinach was a "BLEGH!" food, and no amount of little tastes would change my mind.

This summer, I asked her for the recipe. It is so incredibly easy and delicious. I've made just a few changes to her original.

Cream of Spinach Soup
small amount of oil
4 Cups Chicken broth
2 10oz pkgs frozen chopped spinach (or fresh organic spinach instead!)
2 Cups sour cream
3 garlic cloves
Appox. 1/2 chopped onion, add more to taste.
paprika for color
Add a small amount of oil to a sauce pan. Add chopped onion, garlic, and thawed (fresh) spinach. Stir together until the onions are clear.
In the meantime, prepare the chicken broth (I use Better than Boullion).
Combine broth, spinach and onion. Bring to a boil. Break apart as soon as possible.
Puree in food processor (Blender) until almost completely blended. Should still have some texture.
Cool the mixture in the freezer for ~ 20 minutes.
Add 2 Cups sour cream to 1/2 of the mixture. (Small amounts at a time to keep hot liquid from curdling the sour cream) Then combine and blend all together.
Pour in a soup bowl and add a smidgen of paprika.
Enjoy!

the new rick roll and other news

2010-08-03T15:02:00.001-07:00

This is an awesomely bad music video:

Sometimes I leave the car windows open because it's too hot to drive home after the hot sun bakes the Honda into an oven. Well, then the afternoon rain showers begin and the car seats are now wet-and-wild. This means I'll have to leave the windows open again once it stops raining to dry them out and make sure that they don't mildew. The cycle continues.

I'd like to dress really nice for work so that I get a reputation for being a professional, valuable employee. That way, maybe I'll get promoted someday and will be able to afford a car that

1. doesn't belong to my my parents
2. isn't thirty years old
3. has a functioning antennae that I don't have to grasp out the window as I drive down the highway in order to get NPR reception

Over the weekend I went to visit a friend, her husband, and their one month old baby. It was a hot trip to Ft. Worth, Texas. I spent many hours throwing a look-alike bunny toy to their dog, nuzzling their elderly cat, and holding their infant son. We grilled shrimp and steak, and watched the moon rise. Horray for old friends.

I have a lot of trouble concentrating lately due to grandpa's death. This grief seems to be getting worse. Today I found out that the service will be held at THE church from my teen years (Behold the specters of lying pastors and sexually harassed mothers!), which is an unnecessary distraction from the important work of being sad that such a wonderful Human Being/Grandpa is now dead, un-alive, gone, free-from-suffering-and-consciousness. I'm making hummus and guacamole for the reception.

Grandma couldn't afford to put an obituary in The Daily Camera or The Denver Post, so hopefully all the former members of Grandpa's church and his old friends know to come to the service. It's at 11 am Friday August 6th at this terrible place.

DEATH

2010-08-02T09:44:00.000-07:00

Grandpa died last Tuesday. His service is at the end of this week.

I love him, and miss him. I still don't think I've come to terms with this stupid, awful reality.

NO

2010-07-15T09:48:00.000-07:00

My body works. The discrete organs, veins, and glands digest/cleanse/distribute/inhale/think very well for me. As far as I know, anyway.

This isn’t true for everyone. Some people’s kidneys stop working, and they have to get new ones from someone they know, or a deceased body in the area. This happened to my Grandpa about ten years ago. His son gave him a kidney. What an amazing thing my uncle did.

But grandpa is an amazing person. He is very loving. Love is an action for him, and not just a feeling. I’d like to act from love in the way that he does, and I strive to incorporate that attitude into my daily behavior.

He’s also got a great sense of humor. He hates cats, and now that I have some, he teases me about them. Last Christmas he gave me a special present. It was a hideous framed picture of a cat needing to use the box (from a litter advertisement) for me to put up in the house. It was our little joke-- our little tease session.

Grandpa and I have a special relationship. He also has diabetes, is going blind, has survived a quadruple bypass surgery, a bout with cancer, and now has been diagnosed with cancer in several of his organs again.

I just found this last piece of news out yesterday. Mom called me at work, and I closed the door to my office. At least I’m living near him this time, I thought.

Last time Grandpa had cancer, I was in Indiana. I was isolated from my family, and I wanted to be here for the fight. As time went on, the doctors determined that Gpa wouldn’t make it, and sent him home with two weeks to live. He’s still here four years later.

I listened to Hold Tight London by Chemical Brothers over and over during that time. The topic of the song is not related to his sickness, or my absence from the family, but it’s beautiful and mournful and helped me cry it out. I cried a lot then. I didn’t handle his illness well.

He’s not just a relative to me—he’s a hugely special part of my life. I spoke to him on the phone yesterday, in the hospital AGAIN for a *new* different cancerous attack throughout his body. I can’t imagine not being able to call him and relate to him, and reach out to his mind with my words as he reaches back.

If he dies, I’ll be contacting him to give love, and he won’t be there anymore to complete that circle and hand it back. The idea of that absence is morbid, and stupid, and makes me angry, and confuses me.

I’ve been through this mourning process already! I don’t know how to feel this time around. What if he survives again? What if he doesn’t!

He believes (and many of my family also believe) that G-O-D saved him last time, turning his softball size lung tumors into benign tissue.

“Here is my tumor,” he said back then, placing my hand on his chest to grasp a thing inside him. A weird pile of bad stuff; a deadly mass inside his frame.

Grandpa is tall at 6’9’’. For a long time, he couldn’t walk. He had an electric chair. After he recovered from that cancer, he was able to walk again with his walker. Now we go to Village Inn, and he has to duck into the room. Grandpa is huge, and his voice is huge, and he is not frail. He smiles and jokes—the room sees him. The Village Inn waitress knows my family. Her name is also “Shana”, and it’s pronounced like “banana”—just like mine.

She’s missing a tooth. She’s very patient, and nice. She would miss the family if they didn’t come in. Grandpa likes this restaurant because it’s bright enough for him to see.

I’m agnostic, and the Bergen family is born-again-Christian. Jesus, according to them, healed my grandfather’s cancer last time. They believe that He will do so again.

I love my grandpa. I don’t want him to die! But I don’t believe that if he dies, he’ll go to heaven and I’ll see him again in the clouds with god forever and ever. I don’t believe that.

I love my grandpa. He’s a wonderful human being. I want his organs to work, and his body to feel well, and to go to Village Inn with him and be happy to experience the long, disorganized process of ordering pancakes.

Grateful for knowing him; not ready to let go. Nope.

book nook feminism

2010-06-28T13:33:00.000-07:00

During my lunch break at work, I often sit outside with a good book. Most recently, I'm reading *The Shipping News* by Annie Proulx. It's not a page-turner, but it has slowly grown on me.

Anyway, I forgot to bring this book to work today, and was stuck with something from the corner "book nook" on my office floor. Most of the novels in there are romance, sentimental, or horror paperbacks. The selection is not good.

However I chanced upon one book called *The Dance of Deception* by Dr. Harriet Lerner. I'm about 60 pages in, but so far it's thought-provoking. It reads more like philosophical musings than a self-help book.

The book is about the social mores of lying and "pretending" as a woman. What do we keep private in order to be feminine, and what do we fake in order to be considered demure and acceptable?

How is truth powerful? How is communication tied with intimacy, and are secrets ever appropriate in relationships?

More thoughts on this book and these topics later.

Two More Odd Neighbor Stories

2010-06-24T07:21:00.000-07:00

I climbed out of my car yesterday loaded down with work stuff. It was a long day, and I couldn't wait to get home and enjoy my evening.

"BOO!"

I turned to my right to see K. pressed up against her window, eyes between the blinds and shock of blond hair pulled back behind her.

"Hi there!" I said politely.

"The dog I babysit for," she said, "took a huge crap (showed me with her hands how huge it was) on my carpet, and then ran through it! Now I've got crap all over my carpet. Isn't that gross?"

"Yes it is! Really, really gross," I said.

"So I've rented a carpet cleaner to get this all up. White carpet! What a mess."

"Ew. No kidding."

And so on.

Later on in the evening, A. went out to water his plants on our deck.

"Hey!" K. yelled as her car pulled in, "Check out this hubcap I found! I've got four more of them in the back of my truck. I'm storing 250 of them in my friend's garage! Two-hundred-fifty! I'm addicted to hubcaps!"

"Wow, that's a lot." A. replied.

"It sure is! I'll walk four blocks to go back and get one of these. I'll tell you, I'm addicted."

"Now that you mention it, there are a lot of hubcaps lying around," said A.

"Weird, huh?!" K. replied.

Certainly interesting.

"Alfredo Sauce with Grilled Chicken and Veggies" or "A Visit from the Odd Neighbor"

2010-06-23T15:22:00.001-07:00

Yesterday I got home from work and immediately turned on the grill. We've inherited a gas grill from my parents, and it's 30 years old. It heats up the lava rocks, and then we cook. This means that the grill has to run a bit before we can slap on deliciousness.

I put on my apron in the kitchen and set to work slicing zucchini, an Anaheim chili, and an onion. I was startled by my neighbor's voice directly behind me (the kitchen is next to the open window by the door).

"Oh, hello, so you are home!" she says.

"Hi there!" I say, startled. She looks in from below me as I bend down to see her under the blinds.

"I heard your grill on, but I didn't think you were home. So I came upstairs to check."

"Yep! I'm just grilling some chicken for dinner tonight."

"Aw, that's nice.... Say. You're a really pretty girl." (I'm inside the house, and she's looking at me in my own kitchen.)

"Well thanks! Uh.."

"I mean it! Just really, really pretty."

(Here I wonder if the door is locked. She's right here, outside my house, just inches from opening the knob and entering..)

"Thanks, that's sweet of you."

"Well, okay, bye!"

The neighbor is strange. She's come by to borrow money from us for her cigarettes at 10:30 at night. She's drunk a lot. She's told me what a catch A. is. She starts her car at 2:30 am and the alarm goes off. She and her husband have noisy coitus as often as they fight and slam doors. They listen to Kid Rock in the parking lot as they clean the van. Their dog Lucy barks every morning for hours.

I suppose part of growing up is learning that the silly (and often discomfort-creating) people in our lives aren't worth holding grudges over or constantly relaying negative stories about (unless they're entertaining stories). In her case, however, sometimes the tales are too good not to tell. So cheers to K. the downstairs neighbor for making my home life a little more awkward!

In any case, here's the recipe. I altered it a bit, using heavy cream instead of milk and much less butter. I also added nutmeg and more garlic, and served it over whole wheat noodles, grilled chicken, grilled pepper, zucchini, and onion.

My favorite part is the grilled onions. They'll definitely be a featured part of my summer spreads. Yum!

Summer Foodies Enjoy Roasted Red Pepper Soup

2010-06-14T20:09:00.000-07:00

I've been waiting on a red pepper sale so I could make this. Today was the day! I always double recipes so that I can take the leftovers to work. I'm so glad I did-- because this is delicious!

I made some changes to the recipe:

* 2 T. olive oil
* 8 red bell peppers, chopped
* 2 onion, chopped
* 10 cloves garlic, minced
* 1 jalapeño
* 36 fluid ounces chicken broth
* 1 cup heavy cream
* pinch cayenne
* pinch ground black pepper

Directions

1. Broil sliced peppers in olive oil
2. Stir fry garlic and onions, and boil chicken broth
3. Add chicken broth--I use better than bullion. Transfer to a blender and puree until smooth (may take several batches).
3. Return the liquid to the saucepan over medium heat. Stir in the heavy cream and the ground black pepper and allow to heat through, about 5 to 10 minutes.

Thanks to Judi and allrecipes for a wonderful, nutritious summer treat!

divorce is tragic

2010-06-07T14:14:00.000-07:00

Mary Elizabeth Williams thinks that:

"Life rarely gives us forever. And if instead it hands us 10 or 20 or 40 good years with a good person, that's not a failure. That's worth a cake and a party too. When it comes to love, steadfastness is a virtue, but sometimes, so is letting go."

I disagree. Such a loss is immensely tragic. As I say here:

"Divorce *is* tragic. It's not about moving on-- it's the funeral of family.

Sometimes it's necessary. But it's full of human suffering and the yawning chasm of heartbreak.

Let's not pretend this isn't so! Even if it's the best choice in a given situation."

If the two of you have children together, your children will suffer-- particularly if you complicate their lives with a string of temporary paramours (or just one resentful/inappropriate step-parent).

As I say, sometimes we cannot keep a family together. Sometimes a marriage is so dysfunctional that it is impossible to survive. Why does our culture need to pretend this isn't a bad thing? Divorce isn't just a part of life-- it, like death, erases something important that can never exist again. Sure, we "get over" the death of loved ones. But the claim that dead marriages shouldn't be mourned in a similar way is grossly out of touch with the lived reality of many broken families.

Gyah. Sometimes I have trouble relating to the moral conscience of our culture.

my space

2010-06-03T11:17:00.000-07:00

We saw this tree while hiking last weekend at Roxborough State Park. I love finding beauty outdoors. It helps me get outside of myself, and appreciate being in the moment. I'm temporarily free from my daily worries.

Summer is great.

What's Cooking?

2010-06-02T10:12:00.000-07:00

I've been cooking a few things this month, and I wanted to share them. Bon Appétit!

Grilled steak, marinated in this. I'm a carnivorous veggiesaurous, which I take to mean that I like meatfree and meatfull dishes equally well. These steaks were a great deal too!

.

Peanut butter pie I made this for work, and again about a week later for the family. It's pure candy indulgence, which is what makes it so fun.

Tomato Basil Soup This was so creamy and delicious-- it can be eaten hot or cold.

Zucchini Curry Soup with Grilled Bratwursts. This worked very well, though it's an interesting combo. I put the leftovers in the freezer. Hopefully I'll have enough frozen soup that I'll never have to bring cans of gross to work again.

Murg Makhini (take two) I've made this before from a different recipe and it was delicious both ways. This is a time consuming meal though, so make it on a weekend or in stages.

Mmm. I can't wait to cook some more. Happy Wednesday :).

If zombies took over the world, I would miss...

2010-05-27T10:09:00.000-07:00

... coffee creamer.

Four Fire Freedoms

2010-05-21T14:48:00.000-07:00

"What nationality are you?"

People sometimes mistakenly ask this question rather than what they mean, which is:

"What's your ethnic background?"

or

"What race are you?"

Of course, there are people of all kinds who share the same nationality. Americans are one example.

As an American myself, I have noticed that there are certain abstract ideals I've come to value above other things. One of these is freedom. Not all United States citizens agree, and there are certainly times when freedom should be compromised for another value. Since this is such a large country, these value preferences are often concentrated in different areas.

I'm from Colorado, which exists as The Best Square State in the middle of the True West (aka not the Midwest). While it's not correct to say of all people here, some of us tend towards a more freedom-centric approach to lawmaking. After all, we did used to be The Wild West.

I'm a liberal person, but there are four areas in which I would typically be considered more conservative than most progressives. Perhaps that's because my "nationality" is Coloradan, even before American. Or perhaps there is no correlation at all. In any case, they are:

1. Smoking

Anti-smoking laws are classic examples of state sponsored paternalism. They infringe on our rights to do whatever we want within our place of business, or the sidewalk. The decision to smoke should be made by grown-ups, and the practice should be allowed in any place where it will not give another person cancer.

2. Fireworks

The sale of any but the most lame fireworks is prohibited in many cities in Colorado. Grown-up people in non-drought years should have the right to celebrate through the use of fireworks. Follow the directions, don't use while drunk, and enjoy! Additionally, it's good for the economy-- quit sending our tax revenue to Wyoming.

3. Firearms

The rights of the people to keep and bear arms should not be infringed. It's in our constitution, and it's important. That's not the end of the story, but it is all I'll say about it for now.

4. Campfires

I'm obsessively careful about campfires. If our camping crew is headed to bed, I won't leave the fire until it is not only out, but cold. My dad taught me to shovel dirt on top of the non-glowing coals, and make sure the fire isn't smoking. Bring plenty of water to drown the pit, and never start a blaze outside of a rock-ringed area. Again, severe drought changes this, and sometimes fires are too dangerous to mess with-- but if careful grown-ups want to camp with fire under normal conditions, they should be free to do so.

if zombies took over the world, I would miss..

2010-05-20T15:39:00.000-07:00

...hand lotion.

semester's end

2010-05-13T12:47:00.000-07:00

I just submitted final grades for my class this semester. It was one of the longest string of months ever, and it felt like it would never end. At the same time, it was probably my favorite class that I've taught.

I ended up writing about ten more lectures for this class than I have in the past. I think this was because I've never taught such a small group of students, and we were able to go through the material more quickly.

The extra classes I taught tended to focus on Mill's harm principle (basically, this states that the government can restrict your behavior just in case it involves harming others). I taught on the ethics of smoking, drug use, patriotism, and animal rights.

I found these applied topics to matter more to the students than the theory. It was also fun! In my personal reviews, several students commented that they learned something new each class period. It's statements like that that make this so rewarding.

The class ended on a good note, and I'm really looking forward to the extra time I'll have now that it is over. I can cook more, walk more, and read more books for fun. I'll get my life back-- which scares me a little. What will I do with myself!?

The Adjunct Shun

2010-05-07T11:42:00.000-07:00

The community college I teach at is just that: a disorganized system integrating a wonderful collection of people from all different life stages into discrete learning environments.

My experience teaching at this institution has been mostly great. I’m pretty worn out from all the extra work on top of my regular job, but it has been intensely rewarding to discuss ethics with students who try, care, and are motivated to participate in discussions on important issues. Plus, I get totally energized whenever I connect to another human being and often I learn something I hadn’t thought of before.

The downside to this job is the second class instructor treatment I received. On Tuesday, I attempted to retrieve my official evaluation forms from my mailbox in the department office. I was told that it was behind a locked door, and that if I wanted to access it I would have to come back while the philosophy department is open. The young tenure-track professor I ran into told me that adjuncts don’t get keys to the mailbox office, so they have to plan accordingly.

This Gentleman Thinker was not rude, or even unexpectedly unhelpful. It’s clear that he had a key to the mailbox office, but wasn’t going to let me in. The problem was the disrespect I felt from the entire situation. I work days, and will never be free on any day to come to campus and check my mailbox. As an adjunct, however, this is my problem.

I got my master’s degree in philosophy with the intention to pick up a PhD and teach in a university. I dreamed of spending my life studying the topics I find most worthwhile.

I left for many reasons, once of which being my recognition that the faculty lifestyle is far too hierarchical and unrewarding. There are too few jobs, and too many folks competing for them. Finally, the petty department power dynamics are painfully obvious and destructive-- particularly for those who are not lucky enough to land a tenure-track job. The chances of adjunct-hood are high, and that future is not a bright one.

An example may prove helpful:

When I worked in the office of a graduate department in Indiana, one adjunct with her PhD filled in and taught a few classes. She wasn’t considered a faculty member, which is fine. However, it was decided that the most appropriate place for her mailbox was in the bottom row of the graduate student mailboxes. She had her PhD, and was teaching several classes for the department at a cheaper rate than a tenure-track professor would have been paid. Despite this, she had to bend down to the ground underneath all the mailboxes of the first year graduate students in order to pick up her mail. She occupied a liminal space—too advanced to socialize with graduate students, but not appreciated by the faculty. She was relegated to the not-quite-good-enough-to-respect, but perfect-to-take-advantage-of spot.

What's all this fuss about mailboxes, anyway?

It's not as if a lack of a key, or an occasional unlucky location are important features of life. Rather, I'm suggesting that this have-and-have-not relationship between tenure-track and adjunct-track stems from the fact that there aren't enough jobs, and there are too many who need one. Aggressive defense of one's own power is a symptom of insecurity. Why defend your department against those instructors barely attached to it? Because you could have just as easily been in their position. You aren't the best-- you just got lucky.

Why would anyone take this sort of risk with her career? Quite obviously: because teaching is rewarding, and so is devoting one’s life to learning.

But at what price? I’m not a big money-talker, but I will divulge that for the three credit one semester class I taught this spring, I was paid $2,952. That’s for 16 weeks of classroom instruction, which breaks down to 32 separate lectures at 1 hour 15 minutes each (when it ran to the end) plus grading, preparation, etc. Thankfully, this is not my only job just now.

Using his pen name of Thomas Benton, William Pannapacker writes:

“Having heard rumors about unemployed Ph.D.'s, some undergraduates would ask about job prospects in academe, only to be told, "There are always jobs for good people." If the students happened to notice the increasing numbers of well-published, highly credentialed adjuncts teaching part time with no benefits, they would be told, "Don't worry, massive retirements are coming soon, and then there will be plenty of positions available."”

But that’s just not true, since there are too many PhDs out there and not enough jobs. Students don’t often want to hear the dark prospects they face in academia. Benton again addresses this problem:

“It can be painful, but it is better that undergraduates considering graduate school in the humanities should know the truth now, instead of when they are 30 and unemployed, or worse, working as adjuncts at less than the minimum wage under the misguided belief that more teaching experience and more glowing recommendations will somehow open the door to a real position.”

I’ve discussed the fact that there are too many PhDs and not enough positions previously on this blog, particularly here. I’ve mentioned that graduate students are a cheap labor force, and I’d like to iterate that adjuncts are too. Being an adjunct is not a job you want for the rest of your life. If it’s your fun, extra job (like it has been for me), you may be okay. But you certainly won’t get any respect from your department(s), and you’re unlikely to move up once you’ve gone down the dark adjunct road. This is where it leads. This is where it ends.

Being an adjunct is incredibly fun and rewarding, until you have to acquire basic rights such as, oh I don’t know, access to your campus mailbox. I may do it again on top of my regular job. But caveat emptor to those considering adjunct-hood as a potential way to survive post-graduate-school life. You deserve better.

cooking blogs/sites you could be reading

2010-04-27T11:41:00.000-07:00

These recipes look great!

Pasta with Shrimp and Feta Cheese Sauce from Framed Recipes

Make Your Own Hot Pockets from Planet Green

Grilled Pizza from 101 Cookbooks

Cashew Chicken from Disgustingly Good

Cream of Wild Mushroom Soup from Let's Start Simple

I've been cooking a lot on my own lately, and haven't uploaded pictures in a while. Perhaps it will be time to share soon. Here are some of the things I've made:

Coconut Curry Tofu from allrecipes.com

Indian Butter Chicken from An Edible Mosaic

Tomato Basil Soup from myrecipes.com

I choose to wear foundation?

2010-04-01T14:17:00.001-07:00

The history of feminism has a chapter whose dumbed-down narrative goes something like this:

"Second-wavers don't shave, and they burn bras. Ew."

"Third-wavers aren't 'real' feminists, since they self-adorn according to patriarchal standards"

The infighting led to a feminist implosion, and the dirtification of the word "feminist".

Most of the writers of the feminist blogs I read are in their 20s or early 30s. They defend their right to choose heels, nylons, skirts, eyeliner, nail polish, beauty, and fashion.

Lately, however, I've been seeking out alternative sources of feminist thought, including Twisty Farmer's blog, and Sheila Jeffreys' book.

These feminists claim that the "choice" to be feminine is made within a patriarchal framework and, as such, it isn't correct to say that I myself am the one who truly opts-in when I, say, highlight my hair. The male-dominant society pressures me to conform, and, when I do so, I'm rewarded with male attention or at least non-judgment.

There do appear to be reasons to eschew the trappings of the "subordinate" gender. Eyeliner emphasizes one's object-hood, and short skirts invite The Gaze. All of the ways in which we feminize can be interpreted as reinforcing sexual difference and propping up male power. Why do I wear earrings that hurt after many hours at work? Why do I put on my pink heels, even when I know they're going to give me blisters! I don't have an answer to these questions, which lends a cursory credence to Twisty's/Jeffrey's positions.

I find their arguments somewhat compelling, but am also reluctant to give up all the accompanying lady accoutrements. I'm not particularly feminine in general, but I admit to dressing up in a myriad of womanly ways on occasion.

One thought: in the animal kingdom, male species members are often the more adorned. Female birds of paradise are dull colored with minimal plumage, and they get to be choosy about how bright and attractive their sexual partners are. Is there something inherently bad about gendered sexual difference?

Maybe. I'm thinking on this.

Male bird-of-paradise:

Check out timlaman.com for more photos like this.

Female bird-of-paradise (not the same species):

feminism and beauty

2010-03-30T15:25:00.000-07:00

Are skirts, makeup, and heels oppressive?

They are often less comfortable, and higher maintenance than going without.

Dressing up often involves displaying more of the body than one would see in, say, a suit and tie.

Showing skin is a way to display one's powerlessness.

Is it anti-feminist to use and enjoy these tools of femininity? I'm thinking on this question lately.

As Twisty says, "(Beauty) diverts women’s attention from stuff that actually matters, like global women’s oppression, to superficial, meaningless, neurotic rituals."

Fidelity and Orientation

2010-03-17T14:35:00.000-07:00

In 2006 Ted Haggard, former pastor of CO Springs mega-church New Life and husband to Gayle Haggard, confessed to gay sex with a male prostitute and the use of methamphetamines. At the time, his fall from grace was received with much schadenfreude, particularly given the fact that Haggard was publicly judgmental of gays and lesbians.

Four years later, Gayle Haggard has written a book about her marital struggles entitled *Why I Stayed*. I heard her speak on NPR the other morning, and found her particularly humble and admirable:

NPR Interview

This may surprise you, given my serious endorsement of gay marriage, and my "non-denominational" Christian upbringing. "Let the hypocrite burn!" one might say, "he's caused too much pain through his ministry, and it's his turn to feel ostracized, excluded, and judged."

But this is not my reaction to the story. Haggard made serious mistakes, and the consequences of them were quite severe. His behavior was incredibly painful to his church, and most of all his family. I feel sad that he lied, cheated, and took drugs. I wish he didn't feel as though the only way to deal with his attraction was to secretly pay a sex worker and get high.

His religion does not allow him to feel comfortable with same sex attraction, and consequently he took his feelings underground. The terribly unfortunate truth about our culture (especially fundamentalist religious culture) is that LGBT attractions are shamed and deemed unacceptable options. You must get married and have a family, and ignore all other amorous feelings. Either that, or you are barred from all forms of intimate contact. These are your only options.

In this Christianity Today interview, Gayle Haggard discusses what happened to her marriage after Ted's admission of infidelity and gay behavior: Christianity Today Interview

Here's the most relevant bit:

I know Oprah and others took the approach that he needed to accept that this was his identity. Honestly, our identities are made up by what we believe and how we choose to live our lives. This was not the identity that he wanted or embraced for himself. He described it as incongruent to everything he believed and had built into his life.

Many (apparently Oprah, for starters) believe that Ted Haggard should admit to his gayness, and stop hiding from the truth of who he is. That's one choice.

But imagine the terrible misery he would have to go through in order to choose that path. He would have to stop believing in his version of the Christian god, divorce his wife, betray his family, break his promises, and alter his path. He would be admitting that same sex attraction defines him so fundamentally that it is more important than anything else in his life.

Well yeah, but isn't orientation that kind of life-defining feature? Sure. and so is religion.

Now I don't know whether homosexuality is part of Mr. Haggard's deepest inner life. That's between himself, and himself. Maybe he's bisexual, and truly enjoys a robust physical relationship with his life-long female partner. But even if not, is sex the most important part of life? Oprah et al may think so, and I may agree that it is important-- but it's not my job to tell Haggard what's best for himself. It's not my place to have an opinion on the topic. It's not my damn business.

Our beliefs are our own and no one else's. As Gayle succinctly puts it, "This was not the identity that he wanted or embraced for himself. He described it as incongruent to everything he believed and had built into his life." I'm certainly in no position to argue that Ted Haggard give up everything he believes and has built for himself just because he's a little (or a lot) gay.

This is the problem: Haggard has lived in fear of his attractions for so long that they have become alien to him-- almost as if he had a third dangling arm sewn onto his chest.

Acceptance of gayness, bisexuality, and curious thoughts will give us a chance to experiment and become comfortable with ourselves in all our myriad manifestations before we wed, procreate, and build lives incongrent with our sexuality . The great tragedy here is that Haggard couldn't let himself be himself-- and because of the Christian prohibition against gay thoughts and feelings, he got married, had kids, and developed in a world where acknowledging his third dangling arm was akin to, well, having one.

I saw *Brokeback Mountain*, and the part I hated the most was that these men, who were passionately in love with one another and well aware of that fact, decided to get married to women and have children with them anyway. No wonder many Christians think that "the gays" destroy families. In Brokeback Mountain, they do! The lies, cheating, and betrayal depicted in that movie are supposed to be justified by the fact that the men are gay, and 1960s society doesn't allow them to live as such. I think their behavior is terrible, and living without the person you're passionately in love with is also terrible. It's a no-win situation-- until we begin to accept gay and lesbian couples as legitimate families.

If America moves towards accepting all sorts of family frameworks, there will be fewer broken relationships. There will be fewer Ted Haggards, who have to choose between their Gayle and their gayness. This will strengthen the family. Isn't that what James Dobson, the Family Research Council, and the rest are on about anyway?

and I love drinking water

2010-03-15T13:27:00.000-07:00

I'm liberal, as anyone with access to my facebook posts could tell. I'm pro gay marriage, body acceptance, and Obama. I'm agnostic, and sometimes I eat tofu.

I'm conservative with respect to my views on family (stay together!), guns (2nd amendment whoop!), and my belief that some things are objectively wrong. I like to use Comet to clean the bathroom, but my partner doesn't think I should because it's bad for the environment. I'm not into yoga, and I love the occasional steak.

I believe that most people have views that match up with some parts of both major American political parties. I respect those who disagree with me, even though in some cases it's impossible to discuss our differences together.

At one time in my life, I ate cereal and breakfast bars almost exclusively to stay thin. I think I did damage to my metabolism then. Now I eat when I'm hungry, and stop when I'm not. I eat what sounds delicious-- and sometimes that means cheesecake.

Camera phone photo of green tea cheesecake for St. Patrick's day.

I was raised to believe that Jesus is the route to salvation, and that those who do not accept him into their hearts are hell-bound. I don't believe that anymore, and my family wishes I did. There's no sense in being rebellious about it-- even though I'm sad that this sometimes comes between us.

I'm one of very few people in my high school friend group who has not yet procreated. I've never been married, and I love drinking water.

Curry and The Kant Monster

2010-03-09T07:16:00.000-08:00

For dinner yesterday I created this yummy dish-- roasted eggplant curry with yogurt and Brazil nuts:

We watched some of *The Green Mile* last night, which I haven't seen in a long time and reminded me to think about the death penalty. If a woman or man killed someone I love, would I support that criminal's execution? At this point in my life, I hope I would realize that revenge is not justice, and that a policy of executing criminals goes against the values I want my society to hold. It is hard to say what I would think, since I'm not in that situation, but generally I think that such policies/laws should not be decided from the position of a friend/family member of a murder victim-- that position is too emotional, and not a rational basis for lawmaking.

Soon, my class will be getting into that discussion. I've crawled over the Kant hurdle, and can now energetically dig into more applied ethical topics. Why is Kant such a mid-semester monster? For starters, I don't really like his intro material. I don't know how to teach his more in depth stuff in a beginning survey-type class. So, I teach the first and second formulations of the categorical imperative, after having taught two chapters of James Rachels on Kant. The students find him counter-intuitive, and I feel that I'm giving him short shrift. That was the way I was first introduced to Kant, so maybe it's a right of passage of sorts. Or maybe I'm just making excuses for not being a better teacher.

I do, of course, love his CI2 claim that we should always treat one another as ends in ourselves, rather than as a means only. You are not just my checkout clerk-- you are a human! I must recognize that humanity in you, even if it only involves eye contact and a real "Thank you". It's a good reminder to look for the humanity in those I meet, and demonstrate that humanity myself.

The upcoming applied ethical discussions are always fun. We'll be getting into gay marriage, the death penalty, just war, famine relief, and our obligations to future generations. There are things to look forward to. Most importantly-- spring!

Cooooking!

2010-03-08T07:29:00.001-08:00

This weekend was particularly lazy. Friday night I spent a few hours in Lafayette with the family. Saturday and Sunday I slept in, went on a walk, watched a few episodes of The Atheism Tapes, and cooked Roasted Cauliflower Soup. I made a few changes to it: I roasted leeks and garlic with the cauliflower, and added carrots, mushrooms, and tofu to the finished product. I poured the chunky soup concoction over bulgur for an extra health benefit. Finally, I sprinkled a little extra cayenne on top:
The result was actually much tastier than I had expected, and I can't wait to chomp on leftovers.

I also made Alfredo Sauce and added whole wheat shells.

I finished Linda Bacon's book *Health at Every Size*. It was quite informative, but seemed aimed at those who love processed foods. I used to be a hot pocket junkie, but I've been really getting into delicious vegetables and yummy sources of protein. The most interesting (and new to me) part of her book was the section claiming that when you enjoy a food, your body is more likely to absorb the nutrients contained in it. I'd like to learn more about this, and cross reference it to see if it's actually true. Finding delicious recipes that meet my nutrition needs is an awesome hobby-- and I'm so glad I live in a place that can accommodate it!

debt

2010-03-02T14:08:00.000-08:00

Almost everyone has debt, and many people go bankrupt. Student loans must be repaid, regardless of whether we welch on all other debts.

Due to "normal business practices", my credit card rate shot up to 29.99%. That's quite a lot of interest to pay. Thieves.

I'm lucky to not have expensive taste (in anything other than travel, food, and drink). I'm responsible and pay my bills on time. It will be good when all these bills are finally paid off.

this is my body

2010-03-01T15:37:00.000-08:00

This is my body.

I read a lot of Fat Acceptance (FA) blogs. Not because I completely agree with everything they say, but because they are advocates for several feminist issues that I find vitally important such as:

Confronting negative body image
Critiquing a culture of impossibly thin/photoshopped female icons
Addressing fat shaming as a way to control women
Questioning the automatic link between being fat and being unhealthy
Politicizing the space our bodies inhabit
Empowering everyone to listen to hunger cues-- rather than artificially monitoring food intake based on arbitrary "weight loss systems".

The most important lesson of FA is that

no matter what size you are, you are a human person deserving of respect. It's a simple lesson, but one that nearly no one takes to heart. Large people are discriminated against, and not-so-large people are obsessed with being skinny.

In my case, it's hereditary. My mother and her sisters take weight as an indicator of how "okay" they are at a given moment. They are all very beautiful, but if I spend time with them, this thin-is-in mentality "rubs off" on me-- despite the fact that I know it is rooted in patriarchy, and is a short cut to misery.

I am truly happy in my own skin, but when I was younger I was very susceptible to the message "smaller is better" when it comes to women. I'm 5'10'', and that makes me automatically "bigger" than a large percentage of women, and a good number of men. I tried to shrink my sideways self to cast a smaller shadow, and to fit more easily under someone's arm. But nowadays my body knows what size to be, and what delicious healthy foods it wants to eat. I trust it, and eat when I'm hungry, and don't when I'm not. It's joyous, and freeing.

I'm grateful I'm not a celebrity-- even thin-as-it-is women are altered to fit the skinny-obsessed culture that consumes them.

Jessica Alba photoshopped

Unmarried

2010-02-25T13:38:00.000-08:00

Check out this article from Time:

Couples Who Don't Get Married

Great quote from the article:

"Every day we're making this decision and this commitment anew," he says. "I'm not with you because there would be legal speed bumps to get through if we weren't. I'm with you because this is where I want to be.

Yes! What a lovely sentiment-- especially compared to how many unhappy marriages are out there! This blog from 2005 says more than I'd care to know about misery and being unhappily matched: bad marriage blog. The anonymous author is a total jerk, but he claims to have been happy with his wife for years before things went sour.

There are legal reasons to get married, but a diligent couple can sign paperwork that, while not equivalent to marriage, provides more protection than nothing. Is the legal difference between protections offered by marriage and offered by paperwork worth getting married over? It may be, if your state/employer doesn't offer domestic partner health benefits. It may not be though, depending on your individual situation! One example: Some people receive social security benefits due to a deceased spouse. If these people were to remarry, they would stop receiving these benefits. That's just one reason to remain unmarried to your current sweetie.

Are you madly in love with your partner of X number of months or years? Do you and your partner both have an aversion to marriage for any number of reasons? Have you discussed your commitment levels, future goals, and lifestyle requirements, and are you on the same page? Great-- sounds like it's time for you two to get unmarried!

A great resource for unmarried folks of all stripes (be it single, pre-wedding, divorced, widowed, poly, or cohabitating): unmarried.org.

I won't promise to never get married-- after all, promises are one of the things I dislike about marriage! I do think marriage and unmarriage (and singlehood, etc) should be a socially accepted options for everyone, and I am very proud to advocate this position.

stay together

2010-02-24T11:42:00.000-08:00

Marriage is a bizarre social practice. We commit ourselves to be united in partnership with a person whose future behavior, character, interests, and values cannot be fully assured based on our knowledge of them today. In the past, marriage is something that younger people did, but it is becoming a more common practice of middle aged and elderly adults as well. Young people may not fully know who they are when they make this promise, let along who their soon-to-be-spouse is.

Here's what it seems the wedding vows really mean:

I promise to be your spouse, whether you get sick, or are converted to a new religion, or lose your old belief structure halfway through, or your parents begin to interfere in our lives, or if we have a child and you stop doing any chores around the house, or if you stay out late and don't call, if I stop respecting you, if you develop a verbally abusive tone and no longer care about my interests, if you lend your brother all our money and he loses it on the racetrack, if you quit your job in a firestorm of emotion without thinking of the impact this will have on the family, if I stop being attracted to you, if we fall out of love, if I feel as though I've given up my dreams to make you happy, if we stop sharing the same values, if I fail to understand you in the way I once did, or if one of us makes a mistake and the other becomes consumed by bitterness, etc etc.

I was raised in a conservative household, and despite how different I am from my parents, I do believe that two people can grow old together and renew their commitment to each other every day without this nuptial guarantee. My parents will be married 30 years in April, and they are still very much in love with one another-- as best friends, as well as kitchen make-out partners.

I've seen so many people make the marriage promise, and then fail to deliver. I'm reluctant to enter into this promise for that reason, and yet I believe in lifelong partnerships.

wine/cheese

2010-02-23T11:40:00.000-08:00

Image by Paul Gyers

I'm getting pretty excited for our wine party this weekend. I really don't know that much about wine, and I'm looking forward to learning more. One great benefit to having a wine party is the ability to try all sorts of wines you haven't had before. I've been inspired, and hopefully won't stick to the regular rotation. Lately, I'm all about sparkling wines. I've found Cava, which is a sparkling wine out of Spain. Yum yum! While living in Bloomington, I found a wine out of Oliver Winery that I really like called the Gewürztraminer. It might be fun to introduce that wine to company.

I've compiled a list of some cheap wine websites:

Good Wine Cheap

Cheap Wine Finder

Cheap Wine Ratings

I'm also learning a lot about cheeses. I don't know how crazy I should go with them, but I need at least one or two for the event.

Cheese Reviews.org

I'm curious what a good cracker/baguette replacement would be. It doesn't seem like cheese without carbohydrates works, but I'm brainstorming.

I want to get a dress for the party, with dark stockings. Now I'm just fantasizing though, since I don't know when I'll have time/money for any of this.

bday/family/blogs/bouche

2010-02-22T15:39:00.000-08:00

My birthday was this weekend. It was my first one in CO in four years, which made it special. On Friday night, my aunt (who's in town for a few weeks) and parents and I went out for Thai food, and then came back to my place for lovely presents. My grandparents sang happy bday to me over the phone. It was cute because I could tell grandpa was only half into it and that grandma had made him do it. I love my grandparents so much, and am so glad whenever I get a chance to chat with them. Grandma made me a carrot cake.

On Saturday, A., brother, his g/f, and the above mentioned family members got together at the parent's house to celebrate. Mom made gumbo and her famous chocolate cake. It was still warm and so moist when we chomped it! There was a lot of laughter and silliness over there. It was lovely to have a big family get-together. We played Catch Phrase, and my aunt was rolling on the floor laughing.

It was snowing big flakes, and the windshield wiper fluid wasn't working so we had an adventurous ride home.

I made chilli cheese etouffee on Sunday, which was delicious but not as good as it is at Yat's.

Birthdays aren't that big of a deal, but it's nice to spend them with family. Next weekend, A. and I are having a joint birthday party with a wine theme.

I'm looking forward to spring. Kittens are adorable. A. and I just celebrated three years together.

I've been reading some new blogs:

No Longer Quivering: this blog deals with women and the Quiverfull movement

Red Headed Skeptic: this blog is written by a woman who was able to leave her bastard minister husband and discover life as her own thinking human

In conclusion, give me one good reason why you don't love listening to La Bouche:

diamonds

2010-02-18T08:02:00.000-08:00

Where do you get your diamonds? Are they certified by the Kimberley Process as "conflict free" diamonds? If so, you've purchased a sense of well being, but KP authentication is no guarantee of a bloodless sparkly.

The Kimberley Process certification "guarantees" that certain diamonds don't come from conflict countries. If you only buy KP diamonds, the thinking goes, you'll have avoided funding bloody revolutions and enslaving minors. Sweet.

In actual fact, however, there are ways to get a conflict diamond KP certified. To avoid this regulation, conflict diamond smugglers take their goods to non-conflict countries for sale. Once smuggled into the "safe" country, the KP certifies these diamonds as having come from this new country, which doesn't have a history of exploitative diamond mining, slavery, and child labor. The diamonds have been metaphorically washed of their scandalous history, and are ready to be placed on your fiance's left digit.

This article, this, and especially this provide more information on the topic.

I love sparkles as much as most people. I wish diamonds weren't so awful. But they are.

Here comes my opinion, which is a separate point: Our culture defines a woman who wears a diamond ring as belonging to the man who "gave" it to her. "Sold! Your engagement and marriage to a beautiful woman, purchased for $5,000 at The Shane Company. She'll pretty much have to". ha. ha.

Of course, to many couples, this isn't what diamonds represent to them. Many couples simply choose diamonds because they're pretty, and it's what is expected. However, ownership is what these rocks represent in our culture, and that in itself is enough reason to buck the trend and opt out of this farce. Buy the love of your live a nice vacation, or a romantic piece of jewelery with no history of amputation or connotation of purchasing her services as wife and mother. She can buy you some seeds for a garden you'll grow together, or he can buy her a suit for her first job interview. The two of you can buy a house together! The possibilities are endless.

We're all responsible for the choices we make-- regardless of whether or not we act in ignorance of the consequences. Raising awareness is never easy, and neither is gaining it. We should at least think critically about the choices we make, and be knowledgeable agents who know whether or not our values correspond with our actions.

busy/uplifting?

2010-02-16T08:47:00.000-08:00

It's been busy lately, with teaching as well as work. I just got off of a three day weekend, and it didn't seem like nearly enough unscheduled time. I cleaned, washed massive amounts of laundry, and performed a marathon ironing session. I made noodle-free lasagna, and green curry with yogurt. It was fairly domestic, and there was still more to do by the close of Monday night. I've got to plan lectures, answer student emails (and look over their thesis statements), and try to get some much-needed sleep.

I need a better attitude. I think I've been feeling sorry for myself for being so busy, and just generally bummed by the lack of outdoor recreation going on in my life. I did go dancing once last weekend, which was very fun but somewhat draining.

Last night A. showed me this video of a blind kid who uses echolocation to recognize objects and basically see with his ears. It's a pretty brilliant story of a teenager making something beautiful out of something tragic.

I meant this to be an uplifting story, but it looks like the teen has since died of the same cancer that took his eyes:

This world is messed up. Bah!

Kitty Lambert's Wedding

2010-02-14T11:21:00.000-08:00

from wakingupnow.com/blog

god

2010-02-04T13:59:00.000-08:00

When teaching an ethics class, I am often confronted with my students' rigid belief that god and morality are intimately tied together. I teach Euthyphro's dilemma in an attempt to tear god out of the ethical discussion, but nevertheless he keeps cropping up.

We discussed Sartre's "Existentialism is a Humanism" on Tuesday, which is Sartre's vision of subjectivist ethics without god. After class, one student expressed what an idiot Sartre must be, if he can't plainly see that god is our creator.

I told her that her views on god's existence will be broadly covered in another philosophy class, and that by taking a Phil 101 course she'll probably be able to discuss god's existence or non existence for an entire semester. At this time, in this class, we're just discussing whether morality is affected if god doesn't exist and, if so, in what way. She was not impressed. This student also asked me if it was okay to quote the Bible in her paper. I explained that it's not prohibited, but if she doesn't proved a well-reasoned argument for her position, it won't be very good for her grade.

Faith and reason are two different things. Why is it so difficult for some people to groc this?

As a perma-agnostic myself, I have tried for a long time to ignore questions I can't possibly know the answers to (ie whether or not god exists). I don't badger Christians and other people of faith in an attempt to "convert" them to agnosticism. Such behavior is reactionary, rebellious, and gives non-rational views more credit than they are due. I recognize that faith is a cornerstone of cultural identity, and reviewing it may instigate intense psychological crises for some. That's why many people cling so vigorously to their beliefs. That is fine, although not for me.

However, I do find it frustrating when students, peers, co-workers, and friends couch their claims of morality in religious terms that we can't all share (thanks Rawls). Christianity does not belong in governmental policy creation, and an ethics paper is no place for Argument by Biblical Citation. The presence of these personal faith-based arguments in public discourse is inappropriate, but at least in the latter case I can issue a bad grade. It's the former case that really worries me.

Lately, I find myself becoming a more robust agnostic or, more appropriately, non-Christian. With all the frightening Christian news out there, It's hard not to be a bit freaked out. For some of what I've been reading about Christianism in the blog world, check out this apology from a former Christian, this compilation of Bible verses condoning slavery, and this Family Research Council member who thinks gay behavior should be criminalized.

Gyah. I believe there are loving, tolerant, respectful Christians out there. Where are you people?!

teeth

2010-02-02T07:48:00.000-08:00

Last night I dreamt that my teeth were falling out. They cracked in my mouth and bled on my suit jacket. I was in an amusement park, so I went to the bathroom to wash up. There were huge gaps between my teeth, and I could see from behind them into the world (doesn't make sense, I know). I could feel them break and fall out though-- it's often said that we don't have feelings in our dreams, but I felt the crack and then the absence of a tooth as I caught the shards in my hand.

I woke up very grateful that I have all my teeth. It will be horrible to lose them as I get older.

perky cups

2010-02-01T13:53:00.000-08:00

Over the weekend, we visited an Aurora coffee shop called "Perky Cups". We weren't sure what to expect, and whether this was really one of those bikini coffee shops.

It was decorated exactly like Peaberry Coffee, and was an altogether normal coffee purchasing experience except for one thing: the barista was sans shirt. She had a summer bikini on. We were wearing coats and clothes, and she was not. She spoke a bit louder than necessary, and asked us what we'd like. I ordered an extra large hazelnut latte (I refused to order size 'D') and he ordered a small chai (size 'A'). I asked her how business was, and she said it had been picking up lately. We pretended very hard that she was not under dressed.

She wasn't scandalous. Her clothing was merely out of context, which made it more uncomfortable for me than sensual or even interesting.

The most uncomfortable thing, I think, is that I felt as though I was supposed to look, and that she was getting paid to be looked at. Yet we were in a coffee shop! How could I look-- I wouldn't check out the breasts of a clothed coffee shop woman, and what's any different about this?

The barista was being objectified merely by working at Perky Cups. But she has a job, and that's good for her. I looked up the shop online, and found an article where the owner describes himself as "Chief Bikini Inspector". Ick.

Besides ourselves, there was one other patron. He was an older, gruff looking man reading the newspaper with his back turned toward the counter.

As we left, two high school boys entered and quickly left with what appeared to be an application for employment. They giggled and smacked one another as they walked through the parking lot.

The barista was the only employee working that day. I worry about her safety.

creepy consciousness

2010-01-26T14:06:00.001-08:00

The other day I was having a non-analytic conversation about philosophy of mind-- specifically, we were discussing what consciousness is, what causes it, and whether it is reducible to purely physical phenomena.

Many philosophers in my graduate program studied these topics, and tried to discover the one correct theory of consciousness and mind. I got bored with these questions because the answers seemed fairly unknowable to me. But since it was never my field of interest (though identity was), I'm not particularly insightful when I think/speak on these matters.

I watch a lot of nature shows, and I wonder about animal consciousness. At what point do we count animals as conscious? Does a creature have to be self-conscious (aka the "I'm Johnny Five, and I'm alive!" moment) in order to count as conscious, or is it sufficient for the being to simply be aware of stimuli? Must this awareness continue over time, or is a collection of discrete awarenesses sufficient?

Example: My cat Monster climbs on me every night when I come home. He purrs, and nudges my nose with his nose. He licks me and cuddles as often as possible. Is Monster conscious? If not, why do I sense that he loves me? I recognize that conscious beings aren't necessarily emotional beings-- but it seems likely that emotional beings are sentient. Or maybe not. Perhaps infants have emotions, but are not conscious?

I don't know the answers to these questions, but I think they are important in determining the moral implications of human-animal interactions. Additionally, consciousness is important for those who fear death, and those who are concerned about end-of-life decisions.

When I think too much about self-awareness, I get a little freaked out. I'm aware- hello world! There's a ME attached to this body somehow. She is becoming better at learning to express herself, less attached to adventure, and more comfortable being herself.

some wonderful things

2010-01-25T08:37:00.000-08:00

cooking teriyaki chicken pizza together
David Attenborough nature shows
robes
kitten-cats sleeping in my lap
lazily solving zelda puzzles on the couch
Thai food with the family
sleeping in on the weekend
blueberry candles
comfortable darkness
old pajamas
goodnight kisses
warm fuzzy socks

my home is my sanctuary.

the show must go on

2010-01-21T08:23:00.000-08:00

Politics of late have been absolutely disgusting. After all this work and all the compromises Democrats have made, the health care bill may be undermined by one measly senator from Massachusetts. I've been following this saga for months, and find myself depressed and disappointed by this new development. Haitian relief efforts are important news and I want to know the latest with respect to that crisis. However, I can't marinate in this political news slaw without at least temporary mental health consequences.

At least we have Freddy Mercury, telling us that the show must go on:

How can it go on, when we have the best president in years, a super majority in congress, and yet are STILL impotent when it comes to passing reform?! Sometimes I wonder why I pay attention or engage in political thought or discussion at all.

My thoughts are with those Haitians who have lost family and homes, and are hungry and thirsty and under buildings. My complaints pale in comparison to theirs, but they are still valid and represent real distress over Congressional leadership.

GYAH.

yesterday's class

2010-01-20T08:39:00.000-08:00

Yesterday's class went really well! I'm very excited about this semester. The students were very comfortable speaking up about the ethical issues I mentioned. I love the "popcorn effect" in the classroom, when vocal students bring up discussion points that motivate others to talk about their ideas and suddenly the classroom is full of raised hands and proffered ideas.

I came home, tired but full of the positive energy that comes from a successful classroom session. Teaching ethics is amazingly fun, and I'm looking forward to sharing this course with my students.

AND now, for your viewing entertainment: a gratuitous photo of my cats.

news

2010-01-19T08:54:00.000-08:00

On Friday at 3:30 pm, I received an email from Metro State University, asking if I would be willing to teach an evening ethics class on Tues/Thurs from 7-1:15 starting the very next Tuesday (aka today).

This would increase my level of busyness by a good percentage, but it would also give me an opportunity to teach a relatively small class size (~18 students) about topics I not only care deeply about, but also have pretty much already written the lectures (with minor tweaks required).

I said yes. Tonight is my first class! This is very exciting news for me.

I think I function better when I'm busy. We'll see if this is true. Work is crunchy, but home is so deliciously enjoyable with my partner and our cats. We watch David Attenborough documentaries (here's a clip from the one we watched last night)
:

We've been cooking a lot and enjoying fabulous homemade food.

Saturday cooking:
Chicken Makhani (Indian Butter Chicken)

recipe found here.

There are some job opportunities on the horizon for him, so I'm hopeful. I'm hopeful about many things, in fact. There is much to be thankful for.

creative cooking

2010-01-14T10:45:00.000-08:00

We've been cooking a lot. I'm finding that cooking is a creative, delicious, semi-cheap way to express myself and feel productive. I used to be so frightened of making food because I thought I would mess it up. I'm pleased that this fear is dwindling.

Deviled eggs:

Stuffed eggplant:

Chicken Guacamole burritos:

I must be hungry.

two morbid

2010-01-13T10:04:00.000-08:00

-If I'm brain dead, or in a persistent vegetative state, I would like the plug pulled.

I think I need to get a medical power of attorney, because at this time my parents would be in charge of my end-of-life decisions and they don't believe in this solution. Thus, my wishes will not be carried out in the tragic event of my lifelong coma/PVS/brain death.

-When my grandma was dying, my born-again Christian mother was very concerned about the state of her soul. One day, after staying by her side for days and days, Mom asked Grandma if she would care to invite Jesus into her heart as her personal savior.

Grandma said, "I'm kinda like S____ [that is, *me*]. I don't like anyone bossing me."

I am flattered by this story, because my grandma and I share this in common. We don't want to believe in Mom's religion. We're not Christians. It's a fact.

As the weeks went by, Grandma got unbearably sick and so the morphine drip began. My mother did an incredible job of helping her pass away in as much comfort as possible-- except for one important mistake.

A day or two before she died, Mom asked Gma again about the Jesus thing. As drugged as could be, and with very little time left to experience life, Grandma nodded to this and Mom performed the Invitation-To-My-Heart ritual with her.

After my grandma died, Mom told me this horrific story. Grandma did not want to become a Christian, but Mom took advantage of her incapacitation and inability to consent to satisfy her fear of Gma burning in hell for all eternity.

Sometimes Mom and I get into it about god, and this comes up. I've never told her what a reprehensible, immoral thing she did. I want to make sure this doesn't happen to me. That's another reason I need a medical power of attorney-- to help protect me from involuntary deathbed conversion.

Grandma, I know you weren't able to make choices on your deathbed. I know you lived your life according to your own values, and nothing my mom did in the hours before your passing changes that. This "conversion" is a farce, and it doesn't count. May you rest in peace.

hallways

2010-01-06T07:35:00.000-08:00

Hallways are incredibly awkward.

I walk down a hallway on my way to work every morning. There is usually one person I don't know coming down it towards me. We've got about 200 feet of walking to do before we pass one another and don't have to exist within each other's field of vision. The alternative is to actively look at one another-- watch the other walker's movements and make smiling eye contact for a sustained 40 seconds. I always make sure to at least nod and smile as we pass one another, but what's to be done about the fact that we're the only two people walking on this particular stretch of world and we are forced into a deliberate greet-or-ignore standoff for an extended period of time?

friendship

2009-12-31T08:43:00.000-08:00

I have a character trait that I find valuable, but which has recently caused some problems. That trait is honesty.

I believe that interpersonal relationships are improved by open communication. Sometimes this means that I will bring up unpleasant truths about friendships in hopes that these friendships can be improved and become stronger and closer.

I wonder if things would be better if I kept quiet about these problems. If I’m upset about something that happened between us, I want to discuss this with you. If I don’t bring it up, I may be resentful and distant. If I do, we’ll have an argument or at least some not-so-fun interactions while we sort out the issue. Either way, the friendship may be at risk.

In general, I wonder if it’s best to err on the side of silence, or communication.

bad dream

2009-12-28T07:54:00.001-08:00

Last night I had a horrific dream about being involved in a school shooting. Many students murdered their classmates with guns, explosives, and torture devices. The dream was a long, drawn out game of cat and mouse where I hid in bathrooms and ran through hallways. It became clear at one point that the shooters were not just trying to kill people (a bad dream in itself) -- they were attempting to sell their female classmates into slavery, rape them, and torture and explode the rest. I became one of those resisting the terrorist murderers and was able to prevent them from some of their nefarious doings. We lured their bombs into trash dumpsters rather than buildings, and drew their fire away from cowering others. I tried calling 911 many, many times but was told that no police would come to help. After a night full of this fuss and a graphic and highly unpleasant run in with two male attackers, the killing stopped.

The next drawn out dream sequence involved the terrified, scarred interactions of those who had survived the incidents. We were afraid of being in crowded areas, and wanted to hide behind doors. We considered the words of comfort we had said to one another during the trauma and relayed which had been the most helpful at promoting survival. Yet we didn’t feel closer to one another, but were paralyzed by thoughts about a repeat incident. We decided that this was not just a shooting—it was a terrorist attack.

I’ve never been in a situation like this and am very grateful for that. I woke this morning wanting to make myself very small and avoid becoming a target. In my dream, the fear of death was incredibly real and traumatic as it would be in an actual terrorist attack. Some people live with these incidents for their entire lives! This dream taught me a tiny slice of what such an experience would be like, and has helped me empathize with those who have nasty, murderous realities.

zygote

2009-12-21T14:20:00.000-08:00

If you’re going to have opposite-sex intercourse and you don’t want the resulting hassle of pregnancy, please consider using birth control.

You owe your potential progeny a stable, welcome environment to grow up in. There’s no sense in creating a zygote before you’re ready.

All male/female partners having unprotected intercourse are planning on pregnancy. To reiterate: if you don’t take action to prevent pregnancy, you are planning on getting pregnant.

Every child deserves to feel wanted and grow up in a loving home. If you’re going to have one, please make sure this is something you can provide.

Accidents happen! Nevertheless, we should take steps to avoid them and be aware that they are possible.

The Santa Lie

2009-12-18T07:56:00.000-08:00

The majority of Americans lie to their children about the existence of Santa Claus. These well-meaning parents tell their vulnerable offspring that Claus is a being capable of giving gifts to all the children in the world over the course of one night while flying through the air via a reindeer-powered sleigh.

Any four year old can tell that this is improbable given what she observes about the world. That's where "magic" comes in. Magic is The Hand Wave whereby the impossible becomes possible. It's as if the light switch of possibility flips into the "on" position without any explanation at all. It's Magic! Magic! Magic!

We want our children to learn through observation and come to know their environments. We want them to trust their senses and gain progressively accurate knowledge about the world by living in it. Yet we thwart our efforts and confuse our progeny by lying to them about Saint Nick's Magic Trick.

Not only do we make learning more difficult by propagating this lie, but we harm our relationship with our little ones.

Why lie to one's children for such a worthless reason? We are their only source of information, and they don't have a choice about believing what we say. The Santa Lie makes falsehood an intrinsic part of communicating with our young descendants. It erodes their trust in us, and makes us hypocrites when we instruct them on truth-telling. What can we say to them to explain why we have chosen to disrespect them in this manner? "Lying is okay just as long as it's at the expense of someone more vulnerable than you, and it's fun for the liar?"

Some may think I take this Santa Lie too seriously, and that it is a harmless way to instill a sense of wonder in a world of strife and difficulty. I disagree. What we do not take seriously enough is this practice of repeating untruths to tots, thereby making it more difficult for them to understand the difference between fact and fiction AND harming our relationship with them. There may be some situations where lying to children is absolutely called for, and this is not one of them.

A final point-- if we must have Santa, why don't we just pretend with the kids about him instead of lying? They have great imaginations, and don't need the assertion of fact to play along.

2009 Book List

2009-12-17T15:18:00.000-08:00

1. Middlesex- Jeffrey Eugenides ****
2. Virtually Normal- Andrew Sullivan ***
3. The Heart is a Lonely Hunter- Carson Mccullers ****
4. Starship Troopers- Robert Heinlein ***
5. The Postman- David Brin ***
6. The Human Stain- Phillip Roth *****
7. The Adventures of Tom Sawyer- Mark Twain ****
8. Surfacing- Margaret Atwood *
9. The Way of All Flesh- Samuel Butler *****
10. The Currents of Space- Isaac Asimov *
11. The Purity Myth- Jessica Valenti ****
12. Quiverfull: Inside the American Patriarchy Movement- Kathryn Joyce ***
13. Lessons from the Fat-O-Sphere- Kate Harding and Marianne Kirby ****
14. Guyland- Michael Kimmel ****
15. Manhood in America: A Cultural History- Michael Kimmel ***
16. Full Frontal Feminism- Jessica Valenti ****
17. Cider House Rules- John Irving *****
18. The Wapshot Chronicle- John Cheever *****
19. A Prayer for Owen Meany- John Irving *****
20. Am I Thin Enough Yet? The Cult of Thinness and the Commercialization of Identity- Sharlene Hesse- Biber ***
21. Player Piano- Kurt Vonnegut ***
22. We Have Always Lived in This Castle- Shirley Jackson **
23. Damion- Herman Hesse ***
24. Self Made Man- Norah Vincent ***
25. Remains of the Day- Kazuo Ishiguro ****
26. Homebody- Orson Scott Card **
27. Next- Michael Crichton *
28. my little red book- Rachel Kauder Nalebuff **
29. Love in the Time of Cholera- Gabriel Garcia Marquez *****
30. Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff at Work- Richard Carlson **

Thoughts on Intimate Partner Violence and Battered Men

2009-12-09T15:15:00.000-08:00

I’m thinking about domestic violence against men, and how it is under reported and often not believed. This fact often fuels critics of public funds for DV-related resources, and creates a backlash against rape and assault awareness campaigns. There’s no reason for this issue to be polarized in this way! Intimate partner abuse is *never* okay regardless of what gender you are. This abuse is not always violent—often, control is wielded in more subtle yet incredibly damaging ways.

"What people should know is that abuse is about power and control, and regardless of whether the victim is a man or a woman, it is never OK," says Havilah Tower-Perkins, media relations coordinator for the National Domestic Violence Hotline.

One important difference is that men are traditionally more powerful than women. This power stems from several sources—one of which is that male body size and strength often exceed that of females (thought not always). Additionally, this power is encouraged by a patriarchal system where men maintain control of the household and women operate within those parameters. Women in this system may feel constrained by finances, reputation, and retribution from their partner. These conditions make DV against women a symptom of male power. However, abuse can come from either partner, and male victims may feel more constrained because they fear disbelief that they, in fact, are the victim in an episode.

Male partners may be more likely to be arrested after an abusive situation and may be more likely to lose custody of their children in the event of a split. Furthermore, men do not have as many societal support networks in place as women do (including shelters, hotlines, and court systems), which can lead to a feeling of helplessness to escape an abusive situation without extensive blame and misunderstandings.

Intimate partner abuse is horrible, insidious, and more common than we think. “The Domestic Abuse Helpline for Men can be reached from anywhere in the nation, 24 hours a day, seven days a week, by calling (877) 643-1120 and entering PIN number 0757” and for both genders (800) 799-SAFE.

For more on this topic, see Web MD and this article.

long legs are good for something

2009-12-04T14:36:00.000-08:00

1. I just finished *Love in the Time of Cholera* by Gabriel Garcia Marquez. I loved this book. I found it romantic and beautiful with little sentimentality. My favorite theme of the book is aging. There is something ridiculous about becoming an old person. There's wisdom, but there's also decay and malfunction. Elderly people are often not considered objects of sexual affection or romantic love. At times they are not treated as people. This insightful book challenges these societal conventions and educated me about love and aging. Additionally, it introduced me to the darkly funny concept of Death-by-Parrot.

2. I've got blue LED lights strung about the porch railing to celebrate Christmas. I really wanted a tree this year, but it's not a financial possibility. Last weekend mom and dad came over to decorate Christmas cookies and eat this. We had a great time, especially with eclectic cookie shapes like chickens and airplanes. I brought the leftover cookies to work today, and they were all eaten by my co-workers. My family really has fun hanging out together, especially since we moved out of their house and into our own apartment.

3. I've got long, long arms and long, long legs. Sometimes it's hard to find sleeves and pants that fit my limbs. When I graduated from eighth grade into middle school, the class celebrated in a city park. Anonymous students printed out a "fact" sheet about each of us in the class and taped copies of it all over the sidewalk and picnic area. Some of these one-sentence lines were cruel and nasty, and others were kind and thoughtful. Mine was, "Long legs are good for something". I still don't know what that means. Is it sexual? derogatory? nonsense? I've always remembered that phrase, and sometimes I try and grok its meaning. It really doesn't have anything to do with now, but I'm curious.

4. I'm grateful for the joy of my home and the wonderful life I have. There are so many things to be thankful for in the midst of this winter freeze.

shady grove

2009-11-30T13:49:00.000-08:00

This song has haunted me for years. There are so many different versions out there, and most of them are great.

I can hear the loneliness and need for companionship in the singer's voice. He thinks possessing Shady Grove will extinguish his acid heart, but we all know it's a star-crossed union because people are not Band-Aids-- and Shady Grove never asked to be his palliative.

We're all lonely sometimes, and few of us actually find healthy, abiding love with our match.

If I ever had a ceremony to celebrate my union, I'd like this song played at the reception. Not because my partner and I are set up to fail (as the author of this song seems to be), but because the mourning and loneliness of this song are an expression of the human condition. I cannot reach my tentacles over to you and claw beneath your consciousness. Neither can you knuckle into my head and draw out what it means to be me-- subjectively experiencing, contextualizing, and participating in the spectacle. The nearest we can be is flush together-- and the space just there is infinitely divisible.

The PhD Problem

2009-11-24T14:53:00.000-08:00

by Louis Menand is excerpted here in Harvard Magazine this month. I found it worth reading, since it speaks to my graduate experience.

As he says,

"...there is a huge social inefficiency in taking people of high
intelligence and devoting resources to training them in programs that half will never complete and for jobs that most will not get.
Unfortunately, there is an institutional efficiency, which is that
graduate students constitute a cheap labor force."

As I emerged from my undergraduate years, I worked full time as a bank teller. The year I spent in a professional capacity was actually very fun, but it reinforced my belief that I could not live without graduate school. All dramatics aside, I learned a lot of great stuff in my graduate program, as well as a lot of crap.

I learned that there is nothing philosophers will not wax hypothetical about, and that a reluctance to discuss the intricate details of obscure theories (that are largely irrelevant to every aspect of life) is a sign that one is a "bad philosopher" and not qualified for the discipline.

I learned that I take great joy in the opportunity to reason at a high level and tease out negative implications of my interlocutor's position, and that I prefer do these things for fun, rather than work.

I learned that I really like teaching. I learned the university was getting a great deal by employing me, since they had me teach my own course twice for an annual salary of $15,000/year.

Menand tackles this issue as well. He states,

The system works well from the institutional point of view not when it is producing Ph.D.s, but when it is producing ABDs. It is mainly ABDs who run sections for lecture courses and often offer courses of their own. The longer students remain in graduate school, the more people are available to staff undergraduate classes. Of course, overproduction of Ph.D.s also creates a buyer’s advantage in the market for academic labor.

If I had gotten my PhD I would have had a very difficult time getting a university job. I knew the statistics about success in graduate school before applying, but I thought (as many, many other applicants do) that I was the cream of the philosophical crop and would thus rise to the top of the academic pile. This stemmed from my being 22-23 years old and naive. I feared that without the blessed PhD, I would never be joyous and happy in my job since I would be surrounded by stupid people. In actual fact, there are many intelligent, well-read, wonderful people outside of graduate school, and several myopic, closed-minded people within the ivy-covered walls of Sycamore Hall.

I learned that incredibly gifted graduate students are par for the higher education course. Some are more brilliant than others, but other factors besides intelligence play just as large a role in securing the much sought after glowing recommendation letter.

During my undergraduate years, my thesis advisor warned me, "graduate school is a crushing experience." She was correct about this, but that's not all it was. I learned that life can take turns I don't expect, and I'll be able to roll with the changes-- even if it takes a year or two to suss out the next path in the interim.

These are some of my thoughts on Menand's piece, and graduate school generally. I hope that the people I love who have decided to trek down the doctoral road find happiness (ie jobs, jobs for their spouses in the same city, employment in a location they favor, a sense of fulfillment, intellectually stimulating friends, and enough time to savor life on their own terms) in the professions they have chosen. I truly believe that professorial success is possible, and am infinitely grateful that I have given up that pursuit.

Ethics bowl judging/ friends/ Thanksgiving

2009-11-24T08:15:00.000-08:00

This weekend I served as a judge for the Rocky Mountain Regional Ethics Bowl. Judging is actually pretty difficult—how does one assign a number to a team for their response to a question? It carries with it a hint of arbitrariness that cannot be smudged out. When I coached the IU ethics bowl team, I was often frustrated with the judges’ assignment of points. Then again, we won the competition so in the end I think they judged correctly. Of course I do.

I met other judges during the catered lunch. It was nice because we were able to discuss ethical issues. One was a nurse who serves on ethics committees in her hospital. I was fascinated by her discussion of end-of-life decisions as well as division of resources in the severe burn unit. Then she saw I was reading *Love in the Time of Cholera* by Gabriel Garcia Marquez and started talking to me about schmaltzy books she loves like *Tuesdays with Morrie* and *The Five People You Meet in Heaven*. I was disappointed that our discussion had hit a dead end. I haven’t read these books, but I just cannot read sentimental crap writing (ie *The Alchemist*. What a worthless book!). This type of book hits readers over the head with overly contrived life lessons and disingenuous insights. I’d prefer a bad mystery with dramatic pauses and bad science.

I need more friends. I’m thinking of volunteering in the area, and joining some activities through meetup.com. I've moved from a place where I could talk philosophy often to a place where friends don't enjoy introspection or real discussion. I hope to find some inspired, passionate people to spend time with. It’s not a good time of year to meet new people though—I expect/hope the new year is more socially fruitful.

I’m looking forward to Thanksgiving with my family. We have a few traditions. Every year we sing a song holding hands in a big circle:

We thank you Lord for Jesus Christ
And for the blood he shed
We thank you for his risen life
And for our daily bread

Then someone says grace (usually grandpa) and we often go around the circle stating what we are thankful for. After that, the elder people get to grab food buffet style first, and once we have a plate full we have several tables to sit at. After food, we usually play games. My cousins are very boisterous and loud, and enjoy being the center of attention. I’m sometimes considered loud and the center of attention, which is why it’s funny to be around folks that consistently exceed my volume and performance level. There’s a lot of noise and talking over one another. There’s not enough seating. One cousin has six young children, so they run around and into the rest of us with no real supervision.

I haven’t been home for Tgiving for a few years, so I am looking forward to belonging and being home in the noise and love for this holiday.

in June..

2009-11-19T13:15:00.000-08:00

..we went tubing in Boulder creek with my dad. We hopped on inner tubes purchased at the gas station and shot down the river. The water was very high

(not quite that high, but about one week later)
and fast and out of control. We all tumbled in and were carried down mini waterfalls sans flotation device. One group of kids recovered my black, misshapen tube for me. He called me "ma'm" when he returned it.

After the first run, my dad looked pretty pale and scared. He agreed to try again though and so we hiked upstream for another go.

This time I was more out of control than before. I careened down one fall and heard the *crack* of my tailbone colliding with a rock. Dad had a similar experience. My tailbone still hurts when I sit for a long period of time; I sit on a pillow at work.

After that run, I was the scared one. We quit after that. Being wet and frightened in the middle of cold water was a reminder. I'm alive!

Still, maybe next time I'll just dip my feet in instead.

snow weekend

2009-11-16T10:22:00.000-08:00

This weekend I tried to make gnocchi. It turned out a bit soggy and underdone-tasting. I used this recipe from allrecipes. Maybe I'll try again some day, but for now I'm sticking with homemade ravioli and other delicious things instead.

The fridge and cabinets are full of organic vegetables from the farm. We put squash in everything now, hoping to use it all up before it rots.

I'm a judge for the Rocky Mountain Regional Ethics Bowl competition this coming Saturday in Boulder. It'll be fun to be on the other side of the ethics bowl thing.

We went to the Cherry Creek State Park on Saturday despite the snow. We saw a giant hawk, a heron, and several mallards going "bottoms up". It's great that the apartment is directly across the street from the park

I think Mexico is a cheesy vacation spot, mostly because going there usually involves staying in a luxury resort far away from cultural experiences. As a child my family went there several times, and I fail to understand why people continue to go there year after year with one exception-- I can see why people want to go there in winter. It's warm there and so is the ocean. It's sunny and icicled here, with a white lumpy carpet covering the ground. I miss warm.

It's about control and power and who gets to have it.

2009-11-13T09:11:00.000-08:00

http://www.therotund.com/?p=668

This is a great post from Marianne Kirby's blog. As she says:

"....bodies are not public property and health is not a moral issue. As has been repeated a million times (and I’ll keep repeating it as necessary), when people cow-call me they are not doing so out of any concern for my health.

When advertising tells totally average-sized women that they need to lose ten pounds, that isn’t about health.

When increasingly smaller women are told they are too fat, that they need to get their bodies, their diets, their lives under control, well, that is not about health.

It’s about control and power and who gets to have it.

That’s what I hear when I talk to women I would class as having really very socially-acceptable (or close to ideal) bodies who are still being subject to the cultural messages.

Of course, this hurts men (and other genders), too. We’re starting to see these ridiculous beauty standards applied in ever-widening ways, to broader groups – oppression hurts EVERYONE.

I feel like we really need to recognize the power dynamic of body politics. There’s a lot of reasons why people’s bodies are different and there are a lot of different things we have to tackle in FA. I just don’t want us to forget about this."

(italics mine)

Curves

2009-11-12T14:19:00.000-08:00

Curves claims that it "has a commitment to help women around the world become strong and healthy through diet and exercise."

As you can see behind the glare of this photo, this is untrue! This phrase promotes eating disorders and unhealthy body image. It advocates skipping lunch and working out instead. It uses guilt to manipulate women into using its product. There is nothing empowering or positive about it!

Update: I just called to complain, and the manager, Jen, informed me that Curves stands by this message. She claims that it has been a great advertising mechanism. Want to call and complain? 303-343-4122.